Friday, July 10, 2015

My Second Mother

I'm starting a new chapter of my life today. I'm officially another year older. I don't view aging like a lot of people do. I don't feel like I'm getting old. Maybe that's normal, I don't know. I just know that it doesn't bother me for the number to creep higher and higher. I have a lot of wisdom and experience gained throughout all of these years and I'm not about to disrespect that by wishing the number  could be lower.

I was very fortunate to have a pretty good, simple birthday this year. I've been a bit depressed lately with all that has gone on and the stress that came with it and I didn't hold out much hope for my birthday to be anything special but I was very wrong.

I'm not sure if it's my attitude that has changed or all this aged wisdom but little tiny things really meant a lot to me today.

I started my birthday celebration last Tuesday. I took time off work and after a morning appointment, I got into PJ's with a solemn vow not to get back out of them until I had to. I did manage to not have to leave the house for days. (Friday actually!) I spent the whole week taking care of some things at home I had put off too long, catching up with the lives of my friends and family. I watched movies and TV shows and basically didn't do anything I didn't feel like doing. This, to me, is priceless.

My dad came up and took me out for dinner a few days ago. Just the two of us alone, something that hasn't happened in a very long time. It was really nice to be able to sit down and just chat about our lives.

My official birthday started before I went to bed in the wee hours of the morning. My hunny bunny brought me a cake home just past midnight. I had birthday messages on my Facebook even before then and they've kept coming in little by little ever since. Hubby and I watched a movie and then went to bed.

I woke up this morning and hubby and I went out for brunch. A few simple, stolen moments away from everyone else in the world, enjoying ourselves. We came back home and spent the morning together.

During this time together, hubby had his daily phone call with his parents. My MIL told us she had went to the temple to hand out candy to all of the children for my birthday. Then hubby explained to me that when he was a kid, they always took candy to school to give it out to all of their friends. I heard that and cried (tears of happiness). It was in that moment I was reminded that my MIL thinks of me as her own daughter.

I could only imagine that she handed out the candy because that is what she had always done for her boys. She said she took it to the temple because I didn't go to school there. This was by far the best birthday gift I've ever gotten. My MIL has always said that she feels like I am the daughter she lost and I have now come back to her.

That's hard for me to understand because I never lost a child. I've had miscarriages but that is not the same thing as bringing a baby into your home and loving it and then having to let go in an untimely manner. One thing I do know is how deep those emotions can run and knowing that, when my MIL told me about the candy I just felt such a deep, emotional, intense sense of her love toward me. It put a lot in perspective for me.

It's so hard sometimes for me to feel connected to his family because we have a language barrier. No matter how much Punjabi I've learned, it's not yet enough for me to carry on a deep and meaningful conversation with anyone. My MIL truly is my second mother. I will never think of her as anything less. It still brings tears to my eyes thinking about such a simple act of handing out candy to children.

I'm still celebrating my birthday and I will be for a few more days. I don't go back to work until next Tuesday. I've seen everyone in my family that matters to me. I've chatted with a few friends and just taken all the time I needed to truly enjoy everything around me this week. This is by far the best birthdays I've ever had.

How do you celebrate your birthdays?

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