Tuesday, April 21, 2015

I Spoke Too Soon

Just when I thought I would get a little relief, I got a call from NCIS. My ex had escaped confinement, packed all of his belongings and went UA. UA stands for unauthorized absence and is the Marine Corps equivalent to being AWOL (absent with out leave) in the Army. Not only was he UA, they didn't know where he may be. They notified me a few days after he disappeared because they thought he would come back.
Of all the crazy things he had done so far, I didn't anticipate anything like this but I should have. He was just days away from signing the official plea bargain and retiring with some semblance of dignity to hold onto. Now his plea bargain has been rescinded and he will stand a full military court martial. That is once they catch him again.

I really don't understand the criminal element way of thinking. How could it ever feel reasonable to purposely destroy your own future. If he applies for a job, they will find out easily that he's a wanted man. By fucking up his retirement, he now loses a $40,000 salary which he could have gotten for the rest of his life without lifting a finger. He can't engage in any purchase that will use his social security number, or they will bust him. He can't buy a house, etc. So what kind of life can he actually have but one of a pauper dependent on those around him for just about everything.

He will live the remainder of his free time waiting to get forcibly taken back to stand trial. Next he will get sentenced and once the military is done with him, the state of Virginia will be after him and they will throw him in jail. And for what? The military said he is rumored to have taken his kids to Disneyland. Only thing is, he only has 1kid to take and he legally has no right to come near her. Coming here, there's no doubt I would have him arrested.

I've spent every waking moment since I heard this news in a frazzled state. My nerves are shot. I feel completely unsafe. His mental state has gotten significantly worse. He clearly has no sense of reason left. Who knows when he will show up and come after me again.

And yet, I can't slow down or stop because life is hectic right now. So I just have to push through the fear and deal with it. I have to take this challenge and manage as it over shadows everything else in my life right now. Say a prayer that he is caught soon and I can go back to having some semblance of peace.