Sunday, January 5, 2014

A Sincere 'Thank You' to a Dear Troll

It's important that this dear troll understand that I'm not joking. This post is not sarcastic. So what do I have to say thank you for to a troll?
  1. I'm a busy professional, without all her long hours searching for new gori blogs, I may never find so many wonderful women to read about and follow online. Yes dear troll, I read your random comments and occasionally check your website for the sole purpose of seeing who else you've found that I don't yet know about. Thank you for saving me countless hours of searching. I do question though why you don't ever look for women who are not white. Are westerners not also of other races? Don't worry, I won't spend too much time pondering on that one. It's your choice. 
  2. Page hits! Yes! I love it. Every time you visit, which seems quite often, I get a page hit. I love to see my stats go up and see so many hits each and every day. That's why I keep blogging so much when many other girls have stopped. It's fantastic. Keep up the good work! You can visit 100 times a day, search through all my old posts, I really don't mind. I love it!
  3. SEO - The more you search for me and the keywords off of my blog, the higher my rankings go online. This makes me very happy too! There is nothing I love more than when I get a note from a friend letting me know that my post shows up on the first page of search results in Google! You're awesome troll, you've become my superfan, the thing all bloggers dream of having.
And now some suggestions to make it easier for your readers, like me, to be more clear on what knowledge you're trying to portray and on how to manage a more successful blog.
  1. Use proper spacing techniques. A lot of your posts run on and on and on. Break it up into smaller paragraphs and more people will spend more time reading it. 
  2. Smaller posts as well. I know you copy a lot of content from reputable bloggers but the people who read your posts can't tell the difference between what you write and what you've copied. So use spaces, the quote feature in blogger (the " mark right next to the "Tx" in the top right corner of your publishing screen) whenever you've copied something from a dreaded gori. 
  3. More posts. Of course smaller posts mean more posts. It would be much easier to read your work if you had one post for each gori you're defaming. It would also make it much easier for me to get the dirty 411 on those women you hate so much. 
  4. Pictures, pictures, pictures. I know, I'm not one to talk as I don't have that many myself but you seem to like pictures. Post them on your blog. This will bring you lots more traffic I'm certain. Then you too can see your numbers go up just like I do mine. You can even link to all the galleries you've posted everywhere else.
  5. Links. You clearly have plenty of time to post links to your website all over the internet but you never post links on your blog to the sites you've left comments on, or other sites you frequent. This is also important to blogging. Google loves to see you share links and if you post 100 links to gori Facebook accounts and hardly any to anything else, it doesn't give you any credit toward your Google rankings. You have to make the links clickable (aka hyperlinked) or Google won't know  they're there either.


  1. Yes, thank you dear troll. I'm happy you took a liking to my blog recently because your comments make me smile every morning. Plus they considerably enrich my slang repertoire, not being a native English speaker, I didn't have any idea words such as ratchet were slang words to degrade women. Like you APPI the page hits alone make me happy.

  2. "Use proper spacing techniques. A lot of your posts run on and on and on."
    Troll, if you can't be bothered to learn & apply basic punctuation I can't be bothered to read your post. I'll just assume you're stupid too.

  3. Amazing post!!
    I get at least 2 comments a day from a particular troll telling me I have no soul or spending a good while defacing my photos only to make me laugh! Sometimes I have a suspicion he loves me and is just 'pulling my pigtails in the playground'.

  4. Oh she definitely loves us. No one spends this much time reading and lurking without good reason. We're likely the only life she has. If you wouldn't mind, could I contact you in private about this issue?

  5. Welcome to the no soul club :) I even showed it to my husband who rolled his eyes and said that this lady needs serious help. Each time I post a new blog post I get a comment that is clearly a copy paste, and just makes me laugh and glad to have a life myself

  6. You certainly can :)
    My email is (if you could take this down once you've noted it... I don't want our friend trolls to get hold of it)

  7. Alexandra MadhavanJanuary 12, 2014 at 3:45 PM

    Welcome Lauren! I have been getting death threats since September! Ugh...

  8. Alexandra MadhavanJanuary 12, 2014 at 3:47 PM

    Thanks troll for the page views and for giving us top google rankings! :D By making us higher on google, you're making more followers who love us find us and connect with us! Thanks so much for that.
    P.S. you're the only hater and everyone knows who you are ;)

  9. Oh dear, I am sorry to hear that, Some people have no life!!! Big hugs