Friday, December 27, 2013

Closing Out a Busy Year

When navigating the waters of an intercultural union, difficulty lies in sorting out what is culture, culture shock, personality, and misunderstandings. I've written more in my journal this year than in the previous 10 and yet I haven't yet published any of it. My draft posts have soared well past 100 now and I've tried to go back and re-read them and determine what edits to make and what to post and what not to post and I've gotten nowhere.

It was to my own detriment that before I met my now husband I knew nothing of Indian culture. Just as much as it was a detriment, it has also been a blessing. I know what is unacceptable human behavior, I've learned a considerable amount of new things, and I'm not dismissive of anything because of the culture.

This past year I've gained insight into myself and discovered some new realizations about my life, thoughts and feelings while I lived in India. I've understood more of what I went through and what my husband had to deal with while I lived there. I find it fascinating to have been able to see both sides.

I've learned new things about my husband as I'm sure he's learned new things about me. I think we've both discovered we were even more alike than we ever could have imagined. Now I'm not sure who's more stubborn, me or him.

We've been through a lot together in the last year. With hubby's move to the US came a significant number of firsts, a lot of hard lessons and a better opportunity for us both to learn about each other. We now know each others good and bad sides, how to and not to fight when needed and how to debate each other on issues that aren't even important. :P Yes, we had some hot and unemotional discussions about Devyani recently that I think were fantastic and well-spirited.

In any marriage the first year is said to be the hardest. In an intercultural marriage with one person moving to another country after almost no exposure to it, the first year of living together is the hardest. It doesn't matter how long you've been married. You haven't really gotten to know your spouse until you go through culture shock with them.

I've recently had to re-evaluate my initial feelings about life, love, happiness, and my future and I was extremely grateful that I had kept this blog. Without being able to look back and see how I felt 1 year ago, 2 years ago, 5 years ago, I couldn't have kept an even perspective on a lot of the things I've faced. I find it fascinating that I set out on this blogging journey so that if even 1 person could learn from my mistakes and the things I did right that I would be happy and yet I never once thought that person could be me.

There is a lot on my heart to discuss and I'm hoping that by the completion of 1 year of hubby being here, I will be able to post about the things that have happened with a much more well-thought perspective. I would love to share his first year with you here but I and the posts are just not ready. I hope you'll follow along with me as this journey continues and we can all see where it winds up leading us.

Thank you for another year of continued support, all of the comments you've left for me here and the community you've made me a part of. Most of all I'm grateful for having lived another year as part of two great families, one on each side of the world. I'm thankful for the strengthen bonds between myself and several family members and the continued right to say that I have made a difference in the world.


  1. Thanks for your honesty. I do look forward to more of your thoughts as you get through and passed the raw emotions.

  2. Alexandra MadhavanJanuary 2, 2014 at 1:43 AM

    Happy New Year!