Saturday, October 5, 2013

Post NRI Family Feelings

Sometimes from a pardesi perspective we think that it's easy for Indian families to send their children abroad and that the emotions are not as strong because of their belief in setting a better life for their kids. It's something I think we don't always understand. I'm witnessing now how families respond after they send their children abroad.

I wrote a few times while living in India about cutting up with my MIL. We had a fairly good relationship despite the language barrier. We picked on hubby together and had a lot of fun generally. I could usually go into her room with hubby, have her give me a certain look and I just instinctively knew to playfully smack him. (Before anyone gets pissed, I never hit him, it was more a playful tapping on the face with no force behind it.) Whenever this happened both MIL and I would just laugh and hubby would give me this 'wtf' look. I loved it.

Now hubby is here with me and I chat with MIL on webcam. I still don't know much Punjabi (damn me and my undisciplined American ways!). So I told her hubby was "mujhe nahi" (no fun) and she laughed as usual. Then she started talking about how I never ask her for anything and an Indian DIL would be asking her for things all the time. Then she asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I told her bangles. It was an easy choice and a quick and simple answer. I'm not used to picking my own gifts yet.

Then I jokingly told MIL that she should send me a stick to beat my husband with and I laughed. We both know it's not something I would do but I missed cutting up with her. Her response? She said she sent me her son and I better love him. Lol. I figured that wasn't a good time to tell her he's royal pain in my neck and has shirked all she taught him just to get on my nerves. Lol. Okay, maybe he's not that bad but sometimes it feels like it. I think she would beat him if she knew he now turns on every light in the house and never turns them back off.

MIL has been a little sad lately and missing her son. He was the last child home, her baby. BIL is more of an independent type and I married the spoiled rotten momma's boy. So I think she misses him more. BIL was more like FIL, spent time with the boys and quickly grew up to be a man. My hubby remained a child until some mean white woman married him and forced him to start the next phase of his life. :P

While I can't speak for all Indian moms, my MIL definitely is having trouble with sending her son abroad. Her whole life has changed and the newness of the freedom and reduced workload seems to have worn off. I honestly think if he was to mail her his laundry she would do it. (Laundry was her favorite chore for some reason.) It reminds me of the moms you see in movies who still do all their son's chores after he goes away to college. Only my hubby isn't planning on moving back anytime soon.


  1. thats nice post and i like this one much better,

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