Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Amazing Firsts

I'm constantly amazed, shocked or even confused by all the things hubby has to learn.

Hubby's parents raised him just fine by Indian standards but sometimes I feel like there's a lot he missed out on (like chores and independence). That way of thinking is wrong because I'm judging his life by American standards. I try not to do it but I catch myself thinking about how much he hasn't learned yet in life. Hubby really did lead a sheltered life, even by Indian standards. He was spoiled to such a degree. His parents catered to him the way most Indian parents do to a male child stereotypically. It's not wrong, but it's a huge adjustment.

I'm learning, as is he. It's a good experience for us to go through this together. I'm enjoying seeing the things I went through and being able to know what to do for him or know how to comfort him and also see what he experienced dealing with me. I'm also getting a taste of the anger and negative attitudes associated with culture shock.

Luckily since I travel so much with my job, I can show hubby all the diversity of the American landscape. We've traveled almost all over Virginia and to several cities in West Virginia, Maryland, Delaware, Washington D.C., North Carolina and Tennessee. Hubby has seen more of the US in just a few short months than most native Americans see their entire lives.

One inspiring first was taking hubby to the beach.

Hubby has been to:
  • poor, run-down neighborhoods 
  • million dollar mansion neighborhoods
  • predominantly white neighborhoods
  • predominantly African American neighborhoods
  • multi-cultural neighborhoods
  • upper and lower middle class American neighborhoods
  • and cities I didn't feel white enough to be in 
He's seen the mountains, the coast line, the inner cities and the metro areas.
I've taken hubby to:
  • adult stores
  • alcohol shops
  • the Goodwill
  • Discount merchandisers (like Rugged Wearhouse, TJ Maxx, Ross and Marshall's) 
Some unsightly things hubby has experienced:
  • Overweight people letting flab hang out at the beach - men and women!
  • Pajamas at Wal-Mart
  • Dead animals on the side of the road
There are a lot more things I'm sure could be added to these lists. Hubby has had to learn, see and do just about everything there is here, most of which is nothing like his life in India. He's had trouble adjusting to a few things like curvy mountain roads and the g-force experienced while driving at higher rates of speed consistently, and the altitude.

What are some of your (or your spouses) amazing firsts as an NRI? 


  1. This Is ur Hubby ,My parents not failed me by any chance ,i got gud education gud moral values,leran how to respect and behave ,lets not talk about parents, because if i tell ur viewers how u raised by ur parents which u never tell them ,everyone gonna get shock ,live in realty sweetheart ,so dont judge parents or me by any chance ,

  2. You clearly didn't read all of the post. I said that your parents raised you just fine by Indian standards. I have told them how I wasn't raised by my parents, I was raised by my grandparents. Your ugly tone here was not necessary. I was not rude to you. I claimed full responsibility for looking at the situation wrongfully.

  3. I know it's wrong of me but sometimes I feel like hubby's parents failed him.
    what is that mean , oh so u tell ur viewers did u tell how ur parents where to u when u kid ,iam sure not ,its abt tone its abt judge peoples abilities ,u human being u don't have to right to judge who is fail or pass sple not my parents or my persnal life ,thank u

  4. why my comment saying this now "This comment is awaiting moderation." seems like u ban me commenting my views here

  5. This comment is awaiting moderation.

  6. oh wow now u block my email address so i cant comment ,this time it says "This comment is awaiting moderation." good job doin wonderful work ,

  7. You guys are throwing dirty linen in public, guys....clearly this marriage is having issues. Sort them out in private before it gets worse.

  8. @ nahel "throwing dirty linen in public," i agree but what she doin for last few months on this blog,find a way to insult me and my family ,how long i shut my mouth ,this is getting over my head ,

  9. Dear Hubby,
    You don't have to tell the viewers how your wife has been raised. Reason being a lot of them already know. Just think buddy what you gotten yourself into. This lady has left her kids behind to marry you. Now tell me which sane woman or a mother can do this. She moved to India to live with you and she talks shit about your family and the place where she is been living for 2 years. No offence but are you kidding me. She talks about how young man in India dresses up like 50 years old in America. Don't you think that she is mentally unfit to think like that. I don't know you but I think you really need to take her to the middle class families or higher. I mean she judges Amritsar from the place where you live and we both know it's like the worst side of Amritsar (NO offence). It is dirty but not as much as she writes. I feel pity for you being married to her and believe me when I say that. If a woman can't be there for her kids then what you expect. Open your eyes, there is still time. She talks about your parents failed you, just ask her what did her parents or grandparents taught her and if this is the case, then they must have taught her to leave the kids and runaway to a different country. I am pretty sure her grandparents were successful in raising her. I have been following her blog from a long time and I am sorry she is really awful woman and definitely a failed parent.