Friday, September 20, 2013

Karma, You Bitch!

Yep. That's right. Many of us joke about karma, throw the word around casually and act like it's just another trendy Indian word. Not so.

Hubby has arrived and brought his culture shock with him. It doesn't help I married someone completely content with his life in India lol. Nor does it help he was one of the most spoiled Indian men I know. (None of those things are meant in a bad way just fyi.)

Hubby lived a good life in India. His mom cooked all of his meals, his aunt cooked when she wasn't home. His mom did all of his laundry. The maid cleaned up after him. For all intensive purposes, he lived a lot like a king would. Granted his daddy didn't give in to all of his demands - even though hubby made them.

Coming to the US he intended to learn new things, discover a new way of life etc. but he didn't realize he would actually have to work for it I think. Hubby really started experiencing his culture shock early. Poor thing came here right as busy season for my work started and thus I don't think we were home long enough for him to catch up. When we were he just wanted to sleep. I'm not complaining, I remember going through just the same things. I thought back then it was the heat of India making me sleep but now I know better.

Hubby found a stubborn streak I'm not sure he knew he had. I think it kind of shocked him. He was adamant things had to be one specific way and he wasn't willing to accept anything different. Yep, I remember wanting some of that comfort myself but I'm dead sure I wasn't this stubborn for nearly as long as he has been. I can only assume that it is much more difficult to go from being a prince to being a husband and sharing responsibilities than it is to go from being the head of household to being a spoiled princess. :P

Hubby went through some moods that I didn't expect as well. I know that it is very difficult to go from working in a management position (shitty job or not, at least he ran the office lol) and having a paycheck to being totally dependent on someone. I myself did not adjust to being dependent very well at all. I tried, I did, and as good as I had it I just couldn't sit there and wait for others to do things for me like I was forced to do in India. Hubby experienced a lot of the same.

There were things hubby liked too. He remarked often about how friendly the locals were and how everyone waived at him and treated him like he belonged right from the very beginning. He also liked seeing so many places as we traveled together - even though he slept in the car A LOT! Hahaha.

Just like in India when I was going through it, hubby and I had quite a few issues over his behavior. Thankfully I had already found support whereas hubby didn't have friends married to white women. These issues tested our marriage. Why? Because there are some Indian cultural customs that I'm just not willing to live with and when my husband started exhibiting them it became a huge issue for me. As bad as things got while I was in India, not once did he ever exhibit any of these behaviors and if he'd done so before marriage - even once - I never would have married him and he knows it. Throw whatever stereotype of white women you want at me, I'm human and there are things I won't tolerate.

Actually, I think we went through this exact same thing when I was adjusting to India. I'm remembering as I type clearly telling hubby "fuck you" and he warned me not to say it again or to pack my bags and go home. Yep, karma. :P She got me good this time.

How did you deal with your spouse when they went through culture shock? Please share any tips you have with others who may find themselves in a similar situation.
Did you have love/hate moments with your spouse while experiencing culture shock?

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