Wednesday, September 18, 2013

And Just Like That, I Was Happy Again


Hubby and I have an interesting relationship. It's very new to me because I've never had this kind of relationship with anyone. I can only best describe it as equal but different. We both complement each other and contemplate each other (bet you thought I was gonna say something cliche' didn't you? Ha! Got ya!)

I'm keenly aware of my thoughts and feelings most of the time. Throughout this relationship I've noticed many things about myself and my life and my thoughts and feelings. One key thing I noticed is my happiness level.

Growing up I loved to sing and dance. I woke up every Saturday morning and got dressed up to watch American Bandstand as a kid. I loved dancing and this was the only access I had to learn the latest moves. The more I watched the more I began to sing. I learned how to sing, how to change my voice and emphasize parts of the song. I can make both high and low pitched tones. I don't know the technical terms for all of that but I can do it. I loved singing. Music became one of my favorite things in life.

As life progressed I only sang when I was happy. I could still feel the music just as I did as a child but there was less structure (as in no Saturday morning American Bandstand lol). As my life spiraled downhill I gradually stopped listening to music and singing altogether.

Then I met hubby. Before long I noticed I was singing again. I was learning new songs and I started singing in new languages. I could feel the music again. It had been a long time since I could feel the music, believe in it...since it represented what I felt inside.

When I moved to India, the music again faded away. I withered away along with it. But now that we're back together and here in the US I again find myself learning new music, feeling it inside and singing with my heart. It's amazing to feel this way.

Despite the cultural clashes we have, the way we get on each other's nerves and all that life is currently throwing at me, I am happy.

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