This is yet another thing that many Indians seem to think is true of Americans. Yes, Americans are more open with their sexuality than Indians are but this does not mean all we do is have sex with people we don't know that well. We're not all promiscuous, horny beings who can't control ourselves. People who believe misconceptions like this are the same ones who seem to feel India is the greatest nation on earth, that Indians can do no wrong and everyone in India is pure. *cough* bullshit *cough*
I am sure this stereotype comes from culturally distorted media - news, TV shows, movies, etc. After hearing this rumor I decided a blog post on Indian vs. American dating was in order. We can eliminate these gross misconceptions through education and understanding seems to be easier when we can relate to these things.
Typical American dating:
- A boy and girl meet, they talk a little, maybe exchange phone numbers and then decide to go on a date. Traditionally the boy asked the girl out on a date but times change and now girls ask boys sometimes.
- The pair meet somewhere or one of them picks the other up and then they go somewhere - this could be the park for a leisurely stroll or picnic, a restaurant, the movies or just about anywhere two people can spend time together.
- The pair proceed to talk, laugh or discuss the things around them and aspects of their life. This is so they can get to know each other and determine if they want to go on a second date or continue talking.
- The date concludes and the two either go home separately or the person who was responsible for driving takes the other person home. If there was drinking involved, they may call a cab or walk home.
- In SOME instances they will kiss before they leave each other's presence. Traditionally the boy walked the girl to her door to ensure she got all the way inside safely. Then they may kiss and he would leave.
- A boy and girl meet.
- Boy pursues girl but due to social obligations or genuine lack of interest (not necessarily in the boy but possibly in dating itself) the girl declines. Eventually she may agree to meeting somewhere in public but it is likely done in secret as if anyone finds out - especially her family - a riot could ensue between his and her families. Boys are often threatened and warned to leave the girl alone. These secret locations could be a friends home, a restaurant far away from their familial homes or other places where they are not likely to encounter family. I have personally seen couples hiding out in the back of amusement parks. (Yes, there are cities in India where the couple may not need to be as secretive but it's not common for them to announce to their family they're dating.)
- When the two meet in a secret location they may talk, discuss their personal lives, what their families have planned for them, etc. They could share a meal, snacks or go to the movies.
- As the date concludes they will each leave separately or with their friends. They do not accompany each other to the door to their homes.
- The pair could have sex if both parties chose to. In America no one cares what you're doing with your dates and in India with the sneaking around the sex could seem adventurous or more fun.
- The boy and the girl both could have ideals of chastity. In this case they would choose to refrain from sex until marriage or until a specific event in the relationship.
- They could mutually decide they don't want to see each other again and the dating ends.
- They could be dating more than one person and not have a serious interest in any of them.
- They could be dating one person and having sex with someone else.
Always remember that people are the same all over the world. It doesn't matter what culture you come from, the human mind is the same no matter what your culture. There are sluts in every culture, and there are prudes in every culture. There are also people who see sex as only acceptable in the confines of marriage in every culture while others sneak around and have sex against what society says is allowed. Pay attention to the reality around you and not the stereotypes you hear.
If you don't believe me then check out this post and comments.