Thursday, December 20, 2012

Losing Interest in India.... and America

I've been through several sets of emotions coming back home. It's been both interesting and exciting. For about the last week or two though, I feel like I've lost interest in India. Not my husband or his family but the country itself.

I've stopped reading the Indian newswires that come through to my reader. I've only skimmed over other posts online related to India. I've procrastinated getting my Punjabi lessons put back on my iPod. (Ironically, I'm more apt to speak Punjabi these days even though I'm not actively learning more.)

I'm not sure this is entirely related to India alone though. I've lost interest in all countries, including this one. In some ways I feel I don't fit in here in the US or India. I've began questioning the things I was taught growing up and I've lost what little faith I had left for many things. I'm not only speaking of religion, I'm speaking of humanity and other aspects of life. I've learned things that I didn't want to know. (As the saying goes, ignorance is bliss and you can't unlearn things once they get into your head.)

I've gained a new understanding of life in America, my views of it before and after India and I have a whole new respect for a wide variety of people. American life is very hard in ways not everyone understands. I'd like to take a few minutes to share some of these ideas and thoughts with you now.

Americans don't want the truth. They say they do and there's a lot of hype that goes around about people being real. But, in general white America does not want the truth. (And just for the record I say "white" because the African Americans I know don't seem to have the same issue with the truth even if they don't like it.)

Don't get me wrong, we're not all walking around lying about everything under the sun. That's not how I meant it. I guess this may be a hard concept for me to explain but basically people don't want to know the realities of what is going on in this country. They want to hear things are going well and they listen to the propaganda that comes through the media or people in authority and never question it. Many people here are blindly going through life without a clue of any reality other than their own. They can't see past themselves.

America isn't the only country with this problem. In the last few weeks I've also seen some friends from other countries with the same narrow-minded outlook. The reality is that until you've been in a country other than your own, you can't reasonably assume you know everything about that country. You shouldn't make judgments about that country or its people. Also, until you've spent a significant amount of time away from your own culture, you can't truly grasp certain aspects of human nature.

This is just a small portion of the things I'm quickly losing faith in. I have a lot of things on my mind right now. India changed me.

** Yes, I know not everyone is like this. Not everyone fits into my statements above. I'm just seeing far too much of it all around me. Some people are only oblivious to some things while they're willing to fight to the death for other things. I guess that leads me to another point.

Americans are fighters. That's what we do. It's in our blood and it's all around us. Sometimes its for good and sometimes it's not. I don't fit into that fighting mentality. I wasn't raised to believe in it. It doesn't feel good when I have to do it. That doesn't mean I won't, I just don't like it.

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