Tuesday, October 23, 2012

No Matter What Happens .....

..... we always come together.

That's a quote from my uncle. He said that last night while we were driving him home from the family night. It was so simple, yet so profound to me. He was talking about my granny and how all the times things happened to our family we all pulled ourselves together and worked as a team to make it right.

I don't post much about my history here because mostly I felt it has no place here on the blog. But, my family has always been plagued by extreme happenings and I think today I can relate these issues to my blog.

I get so frustrated when my hubby talks about how American families don't bond and stick together like Indian families do. He's wrong and over time we're both growing to realize that. His view was based only what he had seen on TV and that's just completely inaccurate. First off, I'm from the East Coast and we're nothing like people from the West Coast of America. Second, I'm from the South and we're nothing like the North. Families like mine are rarely represented by American TV. While I don't watch the show, the only one I've ever seen advertised that is about families with similar backgrounds to mine is Duck Dynasty. A lot of my family looks like that - minus the mansion. Some of their mannerisms are similar to my family. Of course, my family comes from deep in the mountains and not the Lousiana bayou and most of them prefer overalls to camouflage. Basically, this family is similar but not the same.

My family has made headlines many times for the struggles we've faced, our triumphs, etc. I would list them but that would be giving out way too much personal information and you could track down every member of my family. The things we have faced are just as rare as the Blue Fuggets of Kentucky.

In reality, my family has always been there for each other. When tragedy or triumph struck, they all came running to help. We've bonded, we've shared in each others lives, we've cried and laughed together. This is no different than Indian families. Your extended family may live a long ways a way, they may not visit often, but they are there for you no matter what. This doesn't mean you always get along.

We argue, we get along. We talk about each other, and we give each other advice. Then of course we get just as irritated when it's not followed lol. This is nothing different than what I saw in my Indian family. When the family was needed, they came together to help each other, rescue each other, etc. BUT, there were times help was not even asked for because it was deemed not appropriate. That is exactly like here.

So for those of you who are Indian who compare all westerners to what you see in Hollywood TV or movies, try to consider that it does not represent anymore of the American population than Bollywood represents of the Indian population. And Hollywood doesn't accurately represent any of the other "western" nations. We don't all throw our parents into nursing homes and out of those who do, it's not because we don't want them or don't want to care for them.

American families, no matter how much they do things differently than yours, still share the same bonds that you do. It doesn't look the same on the outside, as the issues we face here and our culture is different, but on the inside the blood still runs deep.


  1. When people in India told me that they understood American culture because they'd seen Baywatch or Friends, I asked them, "so it really is a typical mating ritual in India for two people to dance around trees while 100 of their closest friends perform a dance routine?"

    They'd of course tell me that was ridiculous. Of course not.

    "So then, if what I see in the movies and TV doesn't represent the real India, what makes you think Baywatch and Friends represent the real America?"

  2. Loving it! Will use that one the next time I am in such a situation...

    I think it´s with families just like with people: There are good ones and bad ones. Independent from Culture.

    Not knowing you personally I am still sorry for your loss. It is always hard to see someone beloved go.

  3. Oh dear being Swiss I am so sick to hear people in India assimilate my culture to the American sitcoms and Hollywood Movies...for many things Switzerland is as different to US as India is!
    And I am so sick to hear Indians claim that we are selfish people who don;t take care of our parents, the Swiss system is such that from the age you start working, which can be as early as 16 years old, we give a percentage of our gross salary directly to the national pention fund, which pays the pention of all retired people in the country, the money the youth pay today funds their grand parent's and parent's pension, and they'll have to wait for the next generation to pay for theirs once they retire...so how is that not supporting our parents I ask you! As for the retirement home, they are not full of elderly hated by their families, in pretty much all cases the elderly themselves checked themselves in because the realise they are in need of constant medical care no children of theirs could give while working full time to feed their own family. Beside ask any senior citizen in Switzerland they will tell you they rather live among their peer and talk about things they can all relate to like how it was living during WW2 than stay with their own kids who are sweet, loving but will never really be able to talk about the same topic of interest with the same level of understanding and passion they have themselves.

    Of my soap box I go :)

  4. Thank you. It is hard to lose a loved one. And you're absolutely right, there is good and bad everywhere.

  5. Lol, thanks for sharing. My grandparents chose to live away from family. One grandmother loved her retirement home (it's an apartment for elderly where they get help if they need it but basically live on their own). She had the time of her life living there and refused to live with her kids even when they begged. I think most people love their relatives no matter where they are from.

  6. Great example! I've used a similar one with hubby. Movies and TV just don't represent reality that well otherwise no one would watch.