Friday, October 12, 2012

Are Americans Denying Responsibilty?

I've noticed that Americans are shifting responsibility. It's as if many people here refuse to take the blame, own up to things, etc. All you have to do is call a professional office to get evidence of that. You will inevitably be transferred to someone else at least once because the person answering the phone either isn't qualified to give that information or they simply don't want to answer it.

I worked at a call center before, trust me they don't allow just any employee to tell you things and half the time call center workers are required to act stupid.You can hardly get a straight answer out of anyone over the phone these days. Even in professional settings we are trained to tell the customers that we cannot answer that question or that it is not our place to help them with those issues.

When it comes to just about everything, many Americans are denying even their own personal responsibility. They didn't get that job because of minority quotas or  they got pulled over for "driving while black." Yes, racism exists but there are many other factors that most people don't consider. Instead they deny any personal responsibility and jump straight to how society is against them, etc.

It's a growing trend here.

Maybe you didn't get that job because:
Someone else was more qualified
Your college or university wasn't well recognized (or not a leader in your field)
Your resume didn't encompass what they were looking for
You didn't fit the job (maybe you couldn't work the hours they needed)
Maybe your personality didn't fit in with the company
Maybe you had bad credit
Maybe your car was wrong for the job (yes there are jobs that require non-descript cars, etc.)

You won't hear a lot of people admit that. Even if it's not a major flaw they will still shrug off answering and tell you "I don't know" if they don't give you an answer indicating society is somehow against them.

It's also quite possible you got pulled over because you were the 3rd car that passed by who was speeding. Maybe the officer didn't catch the others because of work he was doing in his car or possibly they were looking for a red sports car and you happened to be driving one and they needed to make sure you weren't the driver they were after.

YES, I'm well aware that racially biased incidents do occur here in the US. I am just also realistic enough to realize that not everything involving people of 2 different races is racially biased. There are people out there who would have you believe that anything involving a white American is racist and I have a post coming about that as well but I can assure you that NOT EVERYTHING that happens between white people and people of color is racist. I'll save that rant for another day.

Today we are talking about responsibility. It's not just an issue of race. Look at marriages for example. In India a lot of people will tell you that western women get divorced and don't stick with a marriage. They're not entirely wrong but they don't understand the reasoning. Look at most of the break-ups in your family, friends circle, etc.

Try to pay attention to who was at fault and really think about it. In almost every single instance you will find that one person takes all the blame for the break-up. Usually the woman and her friends and family find some reason to blame the man. He was a jerk, he cheated, etc. (I'm not discussing validity of reasons lol.) The same thing happens on the man's side. Him and his friends blame the woman for being a nag, a b*tch or cheating, etc. While those are all potentially valid complaints, did either person consider their own role? Not likely.

Driving is the same way. You may not be a perfect driver. That's a fact and it's okay to be honest that you couldn't stop in time for that red light or that you cut it too close when merging in between drivers. You know what they taught you in drivers ed and if you're not doing it, then you're not doing it. It's not like someone is going to start hating you because you hit a curb, etc. Everyone does those things but few will admit it.

These are all small things but I assure you, this is happening on a much grander scale. I'm avoiding any political or religious rants because they have no place on this blog. For those of you who have been abroad, or even those of you who haven't, what have you noticed about responsibility in America? Do people around you generally admit to their faults or do they push the blame onto someone else?

I personally think this is a kind of widespread silent chaos. As in it's happening on a grand scale, no one is being overly vocal about it but it is very chaotic. This creates a tangled web to life. "Oh what tangled webs we weave when first we practice to deceive!" That quote holds more truth than we can imagine.

I personally see this denial of responsibility a step toward creating a complicated social norm that is unrealistic. It facilitates more of a perfectionist mindset and more of the "keeping up with the Jones" attitude. We're creating more of a need to be socially acceptable when reality is not even a problem.


  1. I'm amazed at my American friends, family members & acquaintances that refuse to take responsibility for their own financial plight.
    Even after their first, 2nd or 3rd bankruptcy they aren't willing to admit their spending habits are to blame?
    Did someone force them into running up credit card debt that is 150% of their entire net worth?
    I know of 5 Americans who bought cars on money borrowed at ridiculous rates- like at 26% interest? Did they not realize they'd end up paying over $100,000 for $20,000 car?
    And don't get me started on the American banks loaning money to these people that obviously could never pay them back- WTF were they thinking?
    Oh well, the rest of us Americans who DO pay our own bills ON TIME now get to pay for those too irresponsible to pay their own!

  2. Oh yes, it's become ridiculous at best! I know people here who bring home $5-6000 a month that think money is tight and always feel broke. I know one person who brings home $9000 a month and can't seem to keep his power turned on. This is not an expensive area to live in either (average rent is only $750 a month for a nice 3 bedroom). I don't think people truly realize that you don't NEED cable and internet and a new car every year, etc. You know the kind of people I'm talking about.