Thursday, September 6, 2012

Desi/Pardesi Meetup Fail

For some reason the girls in the pardesi community always get excited when they see other desi/pardesi couples. About half of us, myself included, are typically too shy or nervous to go over and introduce ourselves when we encounter such couples randomly in public. We plan meetups and such, but running into someone you don't know seems a bit unnerving. Add in social protocols (ie most Americans being raised to never talk to strangers) and it makes it even harder to drag yourself over to one of these couples and introduce yourself.

Well. I finally got up the courage to cross the room and this is the story of what happened and how it didn't work out.

Picture it. I've just left the theater from seeing The Bourne Legacy (which was pretty good by the way) and I'm with family. We go to a local eatery and order food. In walks a possibly Indian man with a white woman. I get all kinds of excited and start sneaking glimpses of what they are doing so I can try and determine if they are indeed a couple.

Only these two are hard to read. They help each other with their food orders and getting drinks. They interacted on picking a table together. Still, I'm not sure as no gestures of affection seem to have been made. I keep peeking lol. Then they head to their table and sit down as do I and my family.

I hurry up and eat my meal and notice they are still seated and talking. They sat beside each other and I was certain it was a sign. It had been a good day so I decided to go and ask. My family laughed and called me crazy and a few other names (lovingly of course) as I walked away. Here's how the conversation started.

Me: I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry but are you two a couple?
Them: (with a giggle) No, we're just friends and we study together.
Me: Oh, okay well I'm in large group for desi/pardesi couples and I was just checking (yep, I'm a dork.)

Then the conversation went on. He's a Keralite and they were both seminary students. (That means they're studying to be preachers in the Christian faith.) We chatted a little more then I got the inevitable ----

Them: Do you attend a local church?
Me: Yes, I do (It's not a total lie, I go on occasion.)
Them: Good, where do you go?

Then I told them the name. I swear they were just checking lol. That's what all good preachers do. During our conversation between all of that though we chatted about the churches in India and how I was married to a Desi. The guy was surprised I knew what Desi meant and quizzed me to see if I knew all the countries that applied to. He even seemed surprised when I listed them. Lol.

Hopefully I will have better luck next time I see a desi/pardesi pair.


  1. Americans are taught as children not to talk with strangers but compared with other countries they quite readily engage in casual talk with people they dont know. Better luck next time

  2. K- The New GenerationSeptember 6, 2012 at 5:06 AM

    haha I would never go up to somebody like you just did and would probably cringe if somebody did that to me :(

  3. Hmm...hopefully they didn't cringe. They didn't seem to and the conversation flowed easily from there. It definitely didn't go as I imagined it would though lol.

  4. Well I'm incredibly shy and first reaction would be panic. my head will be going "what should I talk about D:!?"

    You're brave, I like watching from a distance xD

  5. Lol, I normally watch from a distance. I saw another couple at the same place, desi girl and white guy and I avoided them thinking I could be wrong now. Hahaha. Maybe next time I will try again.

    1. Good luck! My sister/mom would talk to random people wherever we went and as soon as they did I would walk the opposite way..
      I guess my only way to interact with desi/gori couples will be online.