Sunday, August 12, 2012

People I Left Behind

Visiting my brother is all about the memories. We always start our trip with 80's music and the whole week is about reliving the good times. Something we only get to do during this one yearly visit. And we make the most of every minute of it. I gotta tell you a funny story though before I get to the point.

I brought my brother a red mens Punjabi suit this year. He couldn't wait to try it on. Well, while he was in his room changing, his 2 year old asked who Santa Claus was and my niece told him that Santa Clause was a fat man in a red suit. About a minute later my brother came out and the 2 year old proclaimed "look it's Santa Claus mommy!" Lol. So now I'm calling my bro the Punjabi Santa Claus.

Oh, I won the music war. I had about 3 songs he couldn't guess. Bhabi reigns supreme! Lol. Since then we've ate crazy foods, talked about the silliest memories. I just got done eating fish sticks and french fries lol. Hey, there's a 2 year old in the house so we could get away with that. He didn't want to eat them so we had to pretend the fish sticks could swim and the only way to stop them was to bite their heads off. Yep, violence can be fun right? Lol. The kid wound up eating 5 of them.

Last night I was sitting on the couch with my brother and we split a pack of Reese's White Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups and some cheez-it's. Just like when we were kids. It reminded me of just how much my brother meant to me. This couldn't be a better week for this trip since Raksha Bandhan just passed.

Then we got to talking about the good old days. All the crazy things we did as teenagers that mom can never know hahaha. Awesome memories! Of course people who we left behind came up in that discussion.

One person in particular was a male friend (not boyfriend) I had. He influenced me a lot when I was young. He had a serious heart condition and wasn't expected to live as long as he already had. I used to worry about some of the things he did like riding his bike across town. He had died but my brother was friends with his brothers and so we got to talking about where they were and what they were doing. Then we got on to discussing all the other people and names came up I had long since forgotten.

Then we both agreed we were glad we got out of our hometown and did something better with our lives. We've both lived full lives, both traveled a significant amount and made friends all over the world. We've learned things most people will never know.

Some people don't deserve to make it into your future. They drag you down, start unnecessary drama and generally make your life negative. The people who matter stay with you. At least in the western world. (I need my desi readers to weigh in - can you leave people behind and move on in your life if no good can come from keeping them there? I'm talking friends, not family and I mean leaving them behind, not just losing touch.)

Several of our old friends, I was happy to hear, had cleaned up their lives and grew up to be responsible people. Some had changed completely from who they used to be and others were still the same old rejects they always were. Drugs had ravaged a few, turning them into legitimately crazy people. I lost my best friend to drugs and that saddens me even now. She's not dead but she is dead to me. I met up with her and found a couple years ago. We still genuinely love each other but the girl I love and remember as the best friend I ever had is buried under a drug addiction that is certain to kill her. It's really sad but I couldn't save her.

This again reminded me of how thankful I am for my life. I've been through quit a bit of strife and troubles in my life. I've dealt with a lot of extreme situations but I'm thankful for all I have. My problems are my own. I have my own strengths that I developed from going through the rough times. I learned a lot about myself, the world and life.

Maybe this is why I feel so strongly about maintaining relationships with the people I'm close to. I still send real cards on holidays (no e-cards) and I hand write letters. I post on Facebook walls and pick up the phone from time to time. I remember what's going on in everyone's life and follow up when they're struggling. And the people who didn't make it to this part of my life are long since forgotten. I think it just amazes me this week of how many people I left behind. I don't have one single friend from my childhood days besides my brother.

Well...the baby just went to bed so I'm going to close this post and get back to reminiscing about the good old days. Days when there were no bills to pay and life was all about the new MTV channel on TV - you know, back when they actually played music. (Just a side note but does a salwar remind anyone else of hammer pants? Just a little??)

Stop.....hammer time!
U Can't Touch This


  1. Is it weird that the first thing that i noticed on your page was that you had 69 followers ? Sigh i have such a dirty mind :P

    but seriously speaking i hear you mate. I have always wanted to have friendships that lasted a lifetime. Give me three good friends for life and i will be the happiest soul. Yet my life is a constant game of 'Passing the parcel' . Never had a friend who lasted more than a year or two. And then i try to keep in touch/ still remain as friendly as i was when i last saw them and end up looking like a fool. Kinda sucks balls i tell ya.

  2. Thanks for making it 70 lol. I had noticed that too. It seems to have stayed there a while. Maybe you and I are too busy living life to settle down to long-term friends. At least that's what I tell myself lol. I have some great friends and I could pick back up and talk to them again any time I wanted - I know because I do from time to time, but since they're not currently in my life they don't understand things anymore. It does kind of suck.