Saturday, August 4, 2012

No Privacy for the Blues

I was getting my iTunes library ready for a visit to my brothers house - we have a little game we play to see who can find/remember the most random 80's music - and I ran across a song I didn't even know I had. I had to laugh because the lyrics sum up a lot of what I've been going through this last two years - in India and the US hahaha. First, here's the link to the video.


I'm not paranoid. I have good reason to feel like someone is always watching me. In my mom's home there really is no privacy. My step-father keeps his eye on everything. He routinely questions people for information about other household members. To make things worse, the way the central air conditioning ducts are set up if you are in the office talking then the people upstairs can listen in. If you're in the upstairs bathroom you can also hear some things people are talking about downstairs.

Top that with the two foster kids. The younger girl wants to feel like part of the family so she invites herself into everything. Her and I get along fairly, I just think she's more desi than American. She's very much into the communal living and, just like my husband, she steals my flipflops!! hahahaha. It's become a joke now and we laugh about it because it's gotten so bad she yells out to me that she's taking them.

In India there was always someone running around outside the door, coming into the room, etc. Just like here. I swear my mother's house is an Indian household it's just full of white people. I've got a post coming on that tomorrow.

Right now all I want is some privacy. I'm feeling really down and depressed. There's a lot going on and a lot of uncertainty in my future at the moment. I just want to sit down somewhere by myself, turn on some mood-altering music and cry. Get all this pent up sadness out of my system but I can't.

To make it worse I'm on the opposite end of the world from my hubby. I miss him terribly right now. Life just isn't the same without him. All this missing him has definitely gave me a much deeper appreciation for how wonderful of a man I married.

3 comments:

  1. Just go for a walk in natur if you got some around you, even if not there is bound to be a secret place where you just sit and think and listen to your head set and wallow without your family disturbing you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Just go for a walk in natur if you got some around you, even if not there is bound to be a secret place where you just sit and think and listen to your head set and wallow without your family disturbing you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Just go for a walk in natur if you got some around you, even if not there is bound to be a secret place where you just sit and think and listen to your head set and wallow without your family disturbing you.

    ReplyDelete