Sunday, August 5, 2012

I Brought India Back With Me

I'm going to file this under weird ways culture shock doesn't make sense. The whole time I was in India I was certain that my family here was very different than my Indian in-laws. I'm still not sure I was wrong. Of course, I'm still trying to sort it all out. Sometimes it doesn't even make sense to me. I KNOW people are the same all over the world but I was certain that customs at home were different in many ways - ways that mattered to me...I thought.

Here's how I was wrong.
My step father, just like my MIL, routinely goes through peoples stuff. Granted he has 2 foster kids living here and he has to go through their things sometimes. One of the girls is a recovering drug addict and the other is a self-destructing type. So when I say he has to go through there, he really does have to go through their stuff. However, he doesn't know his limits and he goes through everything all the time. I know he went through my computer at least once. I don't doubt he's been through a lot more.

My food is eaten, my shoes are borrowed and things get moved almost every single day. This is communal living for sure. They do it to each other, they do it to me. It drives me nuts.

IST......KILLS ME! I know I pitched quite a few fits in India over being ready to go and everyone else was taking their time. Well, here is no different. My mom and step-dad are not like that but the foster kids are. They'll start saying they need to go somewhere and do something and so mom tells them she's ready and then they go get in the shower. They take at least an hour in the shower (just the shower, I'm not counting the time before and after). Sometimes they're in there for 20 minutes before they shower doing goodness only knows what. Then after they shower they have to get dressed, fix their hair, do their make-up, etc. Sometimes they change 3 or 4 times before they decide on a final outfit. Usually if they say they need to go somewhere at 10 AM we get out of the house around 4 PM. So somehow, IST has made it's way to the east coast of America.

These things were probably here before but not nearly this bad. That part I'm sure of. I'm just surprised things here are so much like India these days. There's still a lot different about life here but these are very specific things I was looking to get away from while I was on this vacation.


  1. I agree with you!! India, US.. it's easy to make distinctions, but things are not always so clear cut.

    For instance, in the US we claim to be informal, but then why do we have so many pleasantries in everyday interactions?

    For instance, Indians are informal in their structure of time, but then formal in how to interact within that time in a different way than Americans.

    All the same, yet exotically and confusingly (is that a word!) different!

  2. haha, that´s a funny discovery. I actually noticed similar when I came here in Germany. Hubby had a birthday celebration and invited only his close friends. The party was to start at 6pm and mostly everyone came at 8pm. I was surprised for I thought all westerners were punctual.

    P.S. I love the forum feature here. :)

  3. K - The New GenerationAugust 5, 2012 at 7:01 AM

    my sister tries to do that if she does she's left at the house with her privileges taken away (phone/computer) etc.

    Have you talked to your step dad about boundaries? you're not a child your stuff shouldn't be touched.

  4. Oh yes, I would have been left at home too. It's happened to me a few times. They aren't allowed to do that with foster kids though so they don't.

    I haven't talked to my step-dad about boundaries. I seem to be under the assumption that it won't matter. I think that comes from experience. Instead, I keep things locked up in my suitcase and I think my mom has spoken to him about it.

  5. People are the same whether they are in India or in the US or elsewhere. I wouldn't like my family members going through my stuff either, I am very strict about it, so they always ask my permission to go through my stuffs. :)

    On a sadder note, really devastated to hear the news about the shooting in a Sikh Temple in Wisconsin. Such a pathetic and cowardly act. The families of the victims are in my prayers. 

  6. Yeah, people are generally the same everywhere. I hate people going through my stuff as well.

    The shooting is very sad indeed. Racism angers me and I feel that any attack on any religious institution is hateful and I hope that they punish the culprits severely. They can't suffer enough for the lives they destroy.