Tuesday, August 28, 2012

American Men, You're Doing it All Wrong

I think I've posted before about how I would never date an American man. I know I've posted about how great Indian men are lol. Well, today I'm going to go a little more in-depth and explain why I have those feelings.

I don't have many good American male role models in my life. I'm not just talking family, I'm talking friends, coworkers and suitors. My experience with American men have just not been so great. Then there's Indian men who just have the sweetest personalities.

Let me start out with the examples and explain why it doesn't work lol. Some desi men try these techniques as well and this is why western women shoot them down. So to my male desi readers, don't try this stuff! And for my female pardesi readers, share your thoughts as to why it doesn't work.

American Men Pick Up Lines:

Okay so the video was just silly lol. It was supposed to be a joke but there are men out there who use these pickup lines. I swear! I've had some very similar ones used on me and they do not work. Women think you're an idiot when you say things like this. But, what I really wanted you to see was the mans interaction toward the woman.

He's obviously just trying to get her attention and he's not even close to doing it right. Women don't want a man to come up to them and start talking like this. They don't want a man to walk up to them acting like he's some fabulous person they should instantly be attracted to. Women want to know what you think of us and we don't want some random pick up line used because you couldn't be realistic and find something nice to say by yourself.

Indian Man Pick Up Lines:
Thank God that men in India have been taught to be more expressive of their emotions. I treasure this about my husband. In India, it's more acceptible for men to have emotions (as opposed to in the US men are routinely taught they must control and withhold their emotions). These are actual lines said to me by my husband back when we were just friends. I saved all of our old conversations and since I'm missing him, I've been looking back over them and reliving the memories.

(Forgive the rough translations and terrible spelling lol. Punjabi/Hindi is phonetic and as such doesn't translate accurately into romanized letters. This conversion from script to romanized only gets worse when you have someone with hunt and peck typing skills who just doesn't care if he gets it right or not. Lol.....that's my hubby!)

aap kabi mat uudas na hona ap sda mukurate rahe yahi hmari duya hai mera bhi kushiya bagvaan apko lga de
---Don't ever get sad, always keep smiling, it's my prayer to God that even he gives my happiness to you.

mai tenu bda piyar karn lag piya ha. Yaar tu badi sohni hai. Te mere dil vich vas gaye hai.
--- I love you so much. You are so beautiful. You just got into my heart. (okay so maybe this one is sappy and cliche. I still liked it!)

yaar mai ta tere pishe lagdahai pagal ho jana hai tere naal gla karn da ina mja anda hai na time da pta hi nahi lagda kido passs ho janda hai
---it seems like I'm getting crazy about you, I enjoy talking to you (or have fun talking to you) and when I talk with you the time runs so fast

Ladies - which lines had you rather hear? Something cold and impersonal meant to just get your attention or something that is so emotional it brings tears to your eyes?


  1. ha ha, speak for yourself ... mine's not the emotional type at all! I tried to tell him about that sweet thing going around facebook about how people yell when they're angry because their hearts are far apart, and whisper when they're in love because their hearts are close together, and his response was, "That's not scientifically accurate." :)

  2. My husband is not the mushy type either, but that works for me. I look for a relationship of equals. The pick up lines in the video you shared are close to the type of pick up lines guys in Switzerland try on girls too, and they are equally lame LOL
    Yup women don't want cold impersonal generic lines, they make us feel like we are a kind of object, or the next potential partner in that lamo's life. Mean using these pick up lines try too hard and give the feeling they will go after everything looking like a woman.

    Guys! I urge you to stop trying so hard, a good old "Hi" works 500 times better when followed by something sensible like "hey do you come here often?" or "mind if I sit here?". It's directly approaching the lady in front of you in an honest manner that works best.

    I have seen many indian guys trying to pick up ladies in very awkards way too, so I don't think lame pick up lines are the bastion of the western guy alone. What I noticed though is that an Indian guy in a relationship that is serious enough is not shying away from feelings, and non-macho things such as going to the gyno's office with their wife, or carrying the kids in their arm (India is stroller unfriendly), and I am yet to see a guy in Switzerland agreeing to hold a purse or a diaper bag with pink flowers or whatnot without making a face. Men in India seem to have no problem driving their wives or daughter's pink scooty around town, I've seen if more than once in various cities.

  3. I think, in this case you are sadly stereotyping American men. My mate of over 20 years is beautifully expressive of his emotions...and always has been. He also takes care of me (I have a debilitating condition). He cleans up and has held my hair when I was throwing up. He has no problem buying personal products for me. All of this is because he loves me..and I do the same for him..for the same reasons. Indian men are more than capable of being lame and trying to use lame tactics to get attention i.e. "eve teasing" Here in American I have never been told that I cannot go out alone because some man night pay unwanted attention to me. You just happened to find your love in another culture...but not *because* he was the other culture, he is just the one for you. It is sad to stereotype and cross potential friends or lovers off a list because they are X culture. Honestly I have had more bad experiences than good with Middle Eastern and Asian men..but I also have friends that I treasure dearly. Being a lame jerk that objectifies women knows no culture/language barrier.

  4. Lol. I wouldn't know how to answer if hubby told me that.

  5. I like honesty too. It's so much better than being fake. I also enjoy how hubby has no problems carrying my purse if I need him to and picking up non-manly things for me. It's quite refreshing.