Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Leaving Peacefully

The closer I get to leaving, the more emotional I get. It's affecting my work, my blogging and even my socializing both off and online. I don't know how to process all of the things I'm feeling and the thoughts I'm going through. So, I've put together a few posts reflecting back on my time here to help me get some much needed clarity. It was very emotional going back over these things and reliving the memories and struggles I've been through.

Hubby and I have also been talking a lot and trying to work out some resolutions to the issues I feel are the biggest challenges I deal with. Some are easier to solve than others but we're both mature enough to know that we have to both work toward the resolution. So while he's not ecstatic about having a big, bulky fridge in our room, he's letting me get one. He wanted a small micro-fridge but it's just not enough for how I plan to use it. Since neither of us think exactly the same (yet) we had to discuss the benefits and drawbacks to bringing a large appliance into the room. Then we had to figure out whether it really was better to keep it in our room or put it in MY new kitchen.

That's right. After way too long and much debate I've been promised the spare kitchen. Looks like Chachi will have to take the old bicycle and crap she's storing in there out. I'm going to have to work this though, it's never as simple as a promise. I have to make sure MIL and FIL are told (since FIL is the elder brother) and this summer I will have to call and keep a check on the progress. Someone's going to have to move my oven and it's non-Indian electrical connection down there, put the kitchen on our power connection and install a new door lock on the pantry. I'm also going to take over one of the spare rooms they occupy and turn it into a dining area. I haven't decided if I want to repaint and all of that but I know I'm going to take it.

We've also talked a LOT about this car issue and me going out alone more. The biggest concern hubby has is what if something happens to the car. Now, I have to agree that cars and motorcycles here are just not that good quality to begin with. And that's to be expected when you can get a decent, cheap car for about $6000 US brand new. I'm not spending a fortune on anything expensive since I'm hoping only to be here about another year (preferably less) after coming back. And I have to factor in hubby is a new driver - clutches rarely can handle the abuse of a new driver for long - and that I'm going to have to adjust to driving in chaotic traffic - which also can't be good for a clutch. Thank God my daddy was a career mechanic. So this summer, I'll spend some time with him adding to my already basic knowledge of how to deal with common problems so you don't get stuck on the side of the road. This is the great thing about having a mechanic daddy. When you live alone he teaches you things because it's cheaper than paying for the tow truck bill he knows he'll get stuck with. Hubby just now has to realize that even girly girls can get greasy under the hood of a car when need be.

Oh and we finally settled on a diesel car as well. He swears it's cheaper on gas (though looking at US fuel costs it doesn't seem so to me) and I guess I can deal with that. Most of my knowledge is on non-diesel cars and I now have to figure out which petrol stations have diesel, etc. Too bad bio-diesel hasn't gotten to India yet. I could use all that nasty leftover cooking grease from some local restaurants and I'd never have to pay for fuel again.

We've resolved some other minor issues as well which has done wonders for my mental state. I was really stressed over getting home and then not being able to drag myself back here. It's been at the forefront of my mind lately. It's nice there's finally a little more give than take going on around here. I was all out of give, that's for sure. I didn't have anything left I was willing to compromise.

I did find one thing interesting. Hubby and I had hit an impasse on one issue and I wasn't sure how to solve it. I didn't want anything lingering between us like that and finally it dawned on me. I told him we would sit down with his parents and let them mediate. Then the strangest thing happen. He changed his mind, all was well and he decided to go with whatever I wanted. Now let's just see if that sticks and he keeps his word.

Anyway, posts may be fewer and further between over the next month as I go through this emotional time. It's really difficult to write anything and I have to get work done first. That's taking longer than it should most days right now and so the blog is getting no love from me. Between the emotions and the work I'm also trying to pack. I always pack early because that keeps me from forgetting everything and panicking at the last minute. So far in my packing, I've realized I bought way too many gifts and need bigger suitcases if I want to take clothes home too. Lol. Guess it's a good thing I have plans to shop right after getting home.


  1. Good for you, Kristy!!! 

    Diesel is definitely the way to go, usually the mechanics bills are higher but you will find yourself with a fuel bill 50% of a normal petrol car!
    We are kicking ourselves now for going with petrol!
    From what I have seen there is a good market for second hand cars when you guys need to offload the car.

  2. Diesel is not difficult to find in India, most gas station have diesel, and it is cheaper than petrol apparently, what is costlier is buying the Diesel car, they cost more than the petrol version, DH and I pondered the whole thing, but due to budget factors we went for petrol in the end.  The initial expense to go for a Diesel car was a bit too much back then and we really needed a car because I was pregnant and we both refused to go carrying a baby on a motorbike.

  3. Sorry kristy, did i miss your recent communications? where r u going? and whats happening with your new kitchen? fill me in please 

  4. Kristy will this be your first time back home since you moved to India?

  5. That's good to know. I've just never looked for it. Most of the time at petrol pumps I'm texting or something. I do know to watch the pumps though because not everyone is trustworthy.

  6. I'm going home to visit my parents for a couple of months. The kitchen I'm referring to is the spare kitchen in our home that Chachi uses for storage. I've asked to use it several times but was always turned down. Now that I'm leaving, they've decided to prepare it for me before I return.

  7. Yes. And I couldn't be more ready to have a break. 16 months is too long to be here without one.