Friday, May 18, 2012

He Told My Daddy On Me

I'm really cracking up over this one. It's not excessively funny from the outside looking in, but it is really sweet. I just think the concept is funny and the results are pulling at my heart strings.

I hear the girls (other pardesi's) talk of their desi husbands bringing his mother into any heavy discussions, disagreements or disputes between them. I know hubby has talked to his mother when he was having trouble figuring things out. While it's rare for me to go to my parents for relationship advice, I know that it's common in the US for people to talk to their parents just in the same way.

So after living here for a while and hearing these stories from other girls I got the idea I was going to discuss some things directly with hubby's parents. He and I had talked about some things going on in this house that bothered me and I know there's a language barrier that keeps hubby from being able to effectively go between me and his parents sometimes.

I had it all planned out. I was going to sit down with them after FIL came home but before hubby did. This meant that I would have to get the kids to translate. I know they don't know more than hubby but it would be a fresh perspective and maybe we could settle some things. So I told hubby my plans. He got nervous and instead solved the issue on his own. He did 100% right by me and took on the man of the house role as is expected after a son gets married and settled in life.

Only problem is, my ingenious idea backfired. This is the funny part. Let me give you the background information first.

I'm not a young woman. I left my parents home at age 17 close to 20 years ago.
In getting closer to this trip I've been emotional and so I've been going out more and more, much to hubby's dismay. I've been dragging him out almost every single day and even going out on my own quite a bit. Poor thing gets worried sick when I go out alone and so after I told him I was going to talk to his parents, he got me good.

It started with me telling my dad I'm being a pain in the ass right now and my dad saying he felt sorry for hubby. The next day hubby emailed him to tell him that I'm a lot of trouble and I keep going out alone and that if something bad happens to me he wants my dad to know it's not his fault. I won't listen to him and heed his warnings. I know in some ways this isn't funny at all, but I find it hilarious. I even encouraged it. This is what he wrote: (This is the sweet part.)

"hello dad hope u fine and things good with you. I just wanted to tell you,as u know she drive my butt crazy lol, now for last few weeks she wanted me to let her go alone and do things alone I am really worried I don't wanna disappoint her so I leave her by herself on malls in these days and went to work but its hard for me to concentrate on work because she cant speak native language no body speak English either people here stare at women or flirt with women like crazy esp. when u white ,there is always risk to get robbed or hurt or kidnapped for money those all thoughts running in my mind all the time when she out, I cant say no because she gonna be mad or sad so I am sharing this with you. I am really worried ,need ur advice"

And my dad's response:
"Sometime's even when we are worry about the one we love we have to allow them the space to do thing that they want to do just so they will be happy. I know She is hard headed and sometimes don't listen to what may be the best thing but. However it is okay to worry about her. Just try and get though the short period of time before she come's home and let her have a little time by herself and things will be fine. I know I worry about her being there a lot because of the different in culture's but I know she is in good hands with you so that gives me peace of mind. Just hang in there for a few more days and she will be gone over here for a little while and be back to you before you know it. Time will pass faster than you know. So tell her I said to listen to you before she gets in trouble. Take care and will talk to you later."

That was really sweet of both of them (all but my dad telling him to tell me to listen). If you shorten up my dad's response, it reads something like 'don't worry, you'll be rid of her soon, just hang in there.' I get my stubborn streak from my dad so he knows it's not controllable. Of course, now I feel awful that poor hubby is so worried about me. This is a growing process for both of us.

I've done quite a bit by myself without knowing Punjabi. Many employees at the mall speak good English. I haven't had any trouble getting things done by myself thus far. Even when I killed my Flavours card three times because I kept dropping it right next to my mobile phone, I managed to get the replacement and my money without any real trouble. I signed up for some store perk cards (in which I gave them hubby's information) and successfully paid for many purchases without any issue. I actually get eve-teased a lot less when I'm alone.

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