Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The Worst Part About Living in a Joint Family

That would be the fact you can't ever seem to get away from them. At this moment the only person in this extended family I can tolerate is FIL. I have no interest in seeing, hearing or being around anyone else. Of course I'm stuck because no matter where I go someone is going to be there.

Hubby and I have our own floor but I still hear the children talking loudly. I still hear all the beating and banging of whatever it is that MIL and Chachi are doing. I don't want to hear it. I want a moments peace and quiet and that doesn't exist here. I want to go down and shower without having anyone speak to me or acknowledge my existence and that's not going to happen either.

I'm going through a very angry phase right now. No doubt complicated by the bed rest and the back to back infections of the last couple of weeks. I'm in no mood to be stared at because I choose to walk through my own house nor am I in the mood to engage in meaningless conversation with anyone.

It's actually quite difficult to live in a house with people you don't like to begin with. I just had this discussion with hubby last night. I told him that the stupidity going on in this house this year was more than I was willing to put up with. He got defensive of course but didn't deny some pretty crappy things have went on and we are only a little over 2 months into the year. 2/3rds of that time the entire house was in turmoil over the Uncle ji and Chachi stupidity.

And call me petty but it annoys the crap out of me when the kids are home all the freaking time. Kitty hasn't been to school since some time in December and won't go back until the end of this month. Now they swear she's graduated the last grade and will be starting a new one soon but she's supposed to be going to the same school as her brother and he's been going. Not to mention, no end of year break is that long - especially not here where the schools they put these kids in are year round. She's bored out of her mind to say the least.

We've had guests 3 or 4 times in the last 30 days which only makes the house more crowded, meaning I have to see and hear more people. Half the time the guests are paraded up to my room as if I'm not in recovery and need more germs brought in. I swear I think India is making me intolerant of people. At least when I go through these angry phases of culture shock.

I know all of these things ARE trivial at best. But coming from a western country where nuclear families are the norm and you don't have to always interact and engage with family on a constant basis they do eventually get to you. I miss the peace and quiet of the countryside where I could sit and watch TV or just sit and enjoy peace and quiet. I think the only quiet I've heard in this country is when I woke up in the middle of the night before the temple behind us started playing music at 4:30 AM. That's rare though because someone is always having some party and blasting music for the entire neighborhood to hear.

Even if family isn't home I can't walk out of my room without some obnoxious neighbor staring, looking for any aspect about me to run comment to my family on. I've dropped another 7-10 KG in the last 3 weeks and they all flock to the house to find out how I'm losing all the weight and to tell my MIL how proud they are of me and how beautiful I am now. While I won't lie and say I'm not happy about the weight loss, it's scary to me because I know I'm losing it from sickness and starvation. I'm not getting enough vitamins and nutrients nor sunshine and sleeping all day and barely eating is not good. It's not good for a normal person but when you're hypothyroid it's even worse.

So I guess I'm going to go wade through all the people I live with and make my way to the shower. Then of course I'm going to have to fend off all the offers for food because I know if I eat I'll get sick again. I stopped eating at home and got better for a while and as soon as I started having to eat here again I started getting sick again. I don't want these peoples germs. I just want them to stay away from me.


  1. Hi Kristy, I too, miss living in a nuclear family. I like the peace and quiet and controlled environment of when visitors get to visit. I lake awake most nights from the constant stream of noise, none of which keep me awake in Australia, nor are allowed after certain times of the evening.

    The first thing is the stray dogs, there are no stray dogs allowed to walk around the streets in OZ and they are not allowed to bark excessively. The second thing that keeps me awake at night is the constant wedding party music and fireworks. Once again, we have curfew times that parties must end and you need to have a license to let of fire works. The third thing is the man that walks around our streets blowing a whistle to let people know that he is patrolling the streets, how stupid is that!!! it keeps me awake all night long. The fourth thing is the constant starting of scooters, motor bikes and people knocking at other peoples doors. The fifth thing is the temple music, what if you don't wamt to hear that music playing that time of the morning. I hardly get any sleep here and can't wait to tureen to a quiet and considerate country.

  2. I can deal with the noise most of the time but I just can't deal with the sickness and the communal property aspects. Those are both just too much for me, and with everything all tied together I'm just sick of this place.