Monday, March 5, 2012

A Few Good Indian Men

In the US the term "a few good men" comes from a movie and is meant to describe the best, the finest, the smartest, etc. type of men. The phrase is most commonly used to refer to United States Marines and was part of a major advertising campaign of theirs a while back.

Women in America always make a big fuss if they are with a man and he holds their hair for them while they are getting sick -also known as bowing to the porcelain God (aka the toilet). I used to always kind of crack up when a girl told me her boyfriend/husband had held her hair for her and I thought about how when I get sick I much prefer to be alone. I typically panic when I get sick and I'm just not fond of the idea of anyone thinking I've lost my mind lol.

Since coming to India I've been sick a lot and had to go through quite a bit of struggling. In talking about these things with my fellow goris and networking with many mixed race couples I really must say that most Indian men are truly unique in the way they treat their wives. I've never heard of any man in the US, or from men of other ethnicities in the US doing half the things I hear about Indian men doing for their wives.  I'm not saying Indian men are better than any other man but, I think that they are more willing to do a lot of the things western women crave for and just can't seem to find much of.

Many times over the last year I've had conversations with gori wives and girlfriends that have said their husbands have been there to hold their hair, clean up after them and quite a few things I wouldn't want to post in case it may embarrass them. But I can tell you of my experience.

This last few weeks I've been on bed rest hubby has washed my hair for me, gone downstairs to cook, even learned some new cooking techniques (I swear he's a natural born chef in the making), changed my clothes, brushed my hair, jumped up to make sure I didn't have to move for anything, did my grocery shopping and took care of me the way a home nurse would in the US. He's had to overcome some of his own fears to do several things for me and he did them anyway. Never once have I heard of any other man, besides Indian men, doing all of that with the dedication hubby has. He's even assumed the role of lecture uncle when I've sit up too fast for his liking or attempted to do something for myself.

Now I've only lived in 6 US states, all in the south, and I have personal (offline) friends of about 20 different races/nationalities but I can assure you I've never heard of men of any other race taking care of their wives that much or that happily. This is truly an Indian man thing. That's not to say that men of other races don't do some of these things but I haven't seem the same level of dedication. I'm really fussy, so maybe my view is skewed but hubby's went through extra trouble to make sure he's gotten the exact groceries I've asked for. In the US it's a big joke among women how many men there pick up the wrong brands,etc. when they send them to the store. Hubby's gotten to the registers, realized he had the wrong flavor of something and went all way back to change them lol.

Let this serve as a warning to those of you out there who support female fetocide, sex selection, or demand to only have boys....the gori's are taking over! I foresee a lot more desi/gori marriages in the future and in the US the numbers are on the rise already. We're targeting Asian men and since there aren't enough girls to go around here anymore....we have plenty of space to take over. *insert evil smiley here* By participating in anti-girl activities you are inviting the rapid westernization of India.


  1. I don't think DH ever held my hair out of the way when I bowed to the porcelain God, but yeah, he did a lot of things no Swiss guy I know would do, and yes that includes going to buy sanitary pads after a miscarriage because I just can't go out myself without loosing whatever shred of dignity I had left in the 50 meters between our home and the chemist.
    When I was pregnant again, he would go out to buy me stuff all the time, and he even strongly took advantage of the fact his company had no issue with employees working from home, he also told them that he would not be working much during the whole month of July back then because my due date was on the 8th and he wanted to be there for me after birth, then he was on diaper runs, and would even go grocery shopping all by himself, he would call me if he had doubts about brand and never came home with odd stuff. When I got sick with a mastitis, shivering burning hot with fever and in excruciating pain, he drove me to hospital waited for hours with me in waiting rooms and took care of our newborn daughter. He actually never missed a single OB visit when I was preggo either, my mom told me my dad would be like "Do I really have to come?" and that was only when the Dr asked him to be there.

    So yup I noticed the same about Indian men :)

  2. Hi Kristy, I couldn't agree more. My Indian husband Nav goes above and beyond making sure that my health & happiness comes first. I have never received such special treatment in my life! When I'm sick in the night he stay's wake with me all night, goes to the chemist in the middle of the night for medication. Makes and brings me food in bed every single morning with a hot cup of tea.

    I have truly hit the jackpot! On top of all that he is very loving to my and our children and cares more about my happiness than his.

    I could go on and on about how wonderful he is and how much he does....the bottom line is that I agree with you Kristy, I believe more Gori girls will marry Indian men in the future.

  3. I am an Indian girl (woman? whatever..), and I can vouch for whatever you wrote on behalf of Indian men. Though Indian guys are notorious for not sharing daily household duties with their wives and seemingly look lazy when it comes to doing any household work, I can vouch for the fact that they become very loving caretakers when the wife or kids are sick. Its a sight to watch how they hold on to wives/kids, have sleepless nights and go out of bounds no matter what the task is untill an older family member (typically either mother or MIL) shows up for helping the household (we don't have that option since we live abroad). This has been true of my hubby (he literally cooked non-vegetarian food everyday during last three months of my pregnency and some times handfed me :), imagine that..), my dad (to my mom and us), and my FIL. During those times it is so heart warming that I don't hold a grudge that my hubby don't help me in cooking everyday.

    Lol on the gori's taking over Indian marriage market, I totally invite it since it is absolutly necessary for some easternization of West and westernization of East.

  4. Lol, you're right. We could all stand a little culture mixing. It is a sight to see when an Indian man steps up and takes care of his wife for sure. I don't think there's anything else quite like it.

  5. Lol, my dad was as bad as yours. When my mom had me he didn't even want to take her to the hospital. He was in some state of shock and was sure it wasn't time and he waited so long to take her that by the time he got there he didn't even have time to park the car!

  6. It does seem to be a growing trend. You see it too though. Last year at this time I rarely ran into a gori here and now you see couples almost ever time you go out.

  7. Hi Kristy
    I have had an Indian husband for more years than most of you girls have been alive lol
    and I couldn't agree more ! His father and brothers are the same way .He is a wonderful husband father and treats my family with such respect I also hit the jackpot is this just between us girls or are we letting them in on all this praise :)

  8. I let Rohit in on it. I think the secret should be let out. :D