Wednesday, December 7, 2011

What's with X and Y?

Hubby and I are X and Y on more than one level. In genetics the X chromosome is associated with a female (more specifically XX) and Y is the male (or more specifically XY) when determining sex. Generation wise I am a generation X spawn while hubby is a generation Y spawn. This sets the stage for many, many differences between us and widens the cultural gap.

As a Gen X child I grew up believing that self-sustainably was a priority. This is a product of the mistrust in institutions that we saw crumbling around us. I grew up seeing the divorce rate rise, massive job layoffs (which is now happening for a second time in my life btw), and I also witnessed many disasters in new initiatives and supposedly life-changing events. (Such as the Challenger disaster which halted our school activities for days so we could focus on it and 9/11 among others.) This led to a need to be completely self-sufficient and to have many options open at once rather than only relying on one single path in life. My focus is on many different areas and I have expanded my knowledge to include a significant number of topics. I am good at many things and (perhaps) a perfectionist at none. I have collected a significant amount of knowledge and I'm always ready and willing to learn more as are most that I know from my generation.

Gen Y in India grew up seeing production increase and a more material economy on the rise. (The size of the middle class was increasing and also the demand for more products was increasing.) This led to more Gen Y children being more entrepreneurial and business minded. They focus on a job and work hard to achieve it. Setbacks don't seem to deter them very much and they continue to grow as fast as the economy here.

Some of this has been a major factor in hubby and I relating to each other. We are both very open to learning and expanding ourselves and that has provided us both the opportunity for some very deep discussions on life and our future. We don't even argue about politics though we both have some very different views. We do however, both get very heated over some topics and thankfully in our case we are on the same side on those topics. (We basically fuss and complain about the same thing, but to each other thus reaffirming what is wrong with politics and politicians, etc. - LOL.)

This has also led to some vast differences. One major example is how hubby pushes me towards some of my goals. Now, I do appreciate his persistence because I need the push quite often. However, I'm much more likely to lean towards not trusting the opportunities (which are higher than a normal GenX'er because of my own history) and moving on to the next topic. If you guys could see it, I'm sure it would be funny to watch us go through these things. Especially over jobs because he'll be giving me this look and telling me to just do it and I'll be grumbling under my breath how it won't work any way and I don't know why he's so worried about it.

Then we get to life issues. Hubby views life as if he has all the time in the world and I need instant gratification. I'm sure this is from the mistrust that comes from knowing if you don't see/get it now you may never see/get it. So then I'm over here fussing and talking about how I'm "on my own" and he gets pissed because we both know that isn't true. So I'm quite sure I'm a huge pain in his ass. But....I'm not the only one in this relationship that needs these pushes.

Hubby doesn't push himself enough for more opportunities. He has a job, he's doing it well and working his way up while sitting in one spot. I know he could do better and so I push him to apply for more jobs. I don't get to see him grumbling (though I'm certain if he was a grumbler he would be) because I push him to apply for jobs while he's at work. He says he's bored all the time so I set him up new job listings coming to his email and Google Reader and I often ask him if he's applying. He doesn't do it very often, but I'm not one to give up. (I am pretty sure that comes from the Gen X approach of never relying on just one opportunity.)

And just like it's a pain in his ass for me to need instant gratification, it's a huge pain in my ass to wait for everything to get done. I think we both need work in this area. We are moving towards him understanding what I really do need now and me understanding what really can wait. I think we're getting there. After all, I did spend over almost 2 weeks looking for a purse before I found the right one. In the US, I really would have settled on something much sooner (probably by the 3rd store I looked in lol). And in the end I got a purse I'm very happy with.

Oh what fun it is to be so different and yet the same.

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