Sunday, December 18, 2011

Change in an Indian Family Part 2

Today MIL is back smiling and talking to me like nothing was ever wrong. That's one of the things I love about being in an Indian family. Well...I supposed most all families are like this but it just seems to me that Indian families tend to be more accepting of someone doing things they don't like or have trouble with. I was just telling a friend about this a few days ago.

See, even though MIL had difficulty with letting me out of the house she hasn't held a grudge at all. She took a couple of days and processed it and things went back to normal. I've seen this with my husband as well. I won't lie, it's not easy being married to me - mostly because of the cross culture differences and the fact that I'm seriously stubborn. I can also be patient though.

I've learned quite a few lessons about life and social interaction and living with family since I've been here. The main one is that each person should do what they need to do. It's almost understood here that you will think of the needs of the family first and thus you won't actually go through with anything that will shame the family or cause negative attention to be drawn to them. Their nature is also very forgiving should you mess up and cause a problem. (Thank God I haven't been that person yet though lol.)

Another thing I noticed is that even if they are not open to an idea, if you are determined to go through with it they will process their own emotions and then try to get used to the situation. I see this mostly from them welcoming me into their home. This is a big change to them and they got used to me and having me around and having the neighbors ask questions about me. I think my MIL enjoys the attention because she gets too many compliments these days on everything from my weight loss to how well I fit in here, blah blah blah. It's cute and I'm glad that turned out well for them.

Poor hubby had to adjust to going shopping all the time. He hates shopping normally and now we are always there. In the beginning he would say he was going to sit and wait for me only to wind up following me around because he was worried sick I would get lost or something lol. Now he regularly ditches me in the women's department so he can go see the latest men's styles and shop on his own. I think I've created a monster (did I mention he has between 15-20 jackets and that's I could only manage to make him get rid of 2 he refused to wear this year...he also has over 50 shirts!)

Other small challenges in our adjustment have worked out the same way. I've made quite a few demands for changes and some were instantly received and some they grumbled about and then got used to it. Some they just kept their stubbornness about and didn't change. I can respect that. I wouldn't want them to do everything or follow every crazy suggestion I bring up. Especially because so many of them were made while I was sick and bitchy. It's a little unfair to think they would bow and obey ....especially since I don't intend to either. So we are working through things - in Indian Standard time lol.

Change takes time. And though this topic deserves it's own blog post, I will say that it seemed awful easy for hubby to change from going without everything to save his rupees for nights out with the boys to living a lavish lifestyle and thinking his friends are immature....LMAO....yeah I did that too though I swear I didn't plan it and I do feel kind of bad about it - just the part where he doesn't talk to his party friends much anymore. *He has other friends he still sees regularly.* I don't feel bad about the heat, AC, hot shower, LCD, luxury bedroom...etc. >:D

3 comments:

  1. Glad to hear you are feeling better and able to get out of the house now :)  It's good to hear you so upbeat.  Sounds like just being able to get out made things a lot better for you.  Good for you for being stubborn until you got what you wanted! lol.  At least this wasn't an unreasonable demand.

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  2. It was a drastic change. I do feel a lot better but I know this is only the first hurdle.

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  3. pretty mch saying same thing as Naomi -- for the rest can' t say much lol

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