Friday, November 11, 2011

Since When Does a Wife Become a Slave?

So I read this post "It Is Not Safe to Break Up in a Burger King Anymore" and I can't help but wonder what the hell is wrong with this guy. Nowhere in any dictionary in the world is the word "slave" part of the description of what a wife should be. I don't believe for one moment that any woman (or man) should ever be subject to this kind of life and this girl obviously has. No matter how you look at it, this guy made himself look like an abusive jerk.

*I don't know this couple so I won't say for sure that he is abusive because there could be other things going on. However, based on his behavior in this situation he is at the very least attempting to maintain some sense of control over this girl which is a good sign that he is abusive in some way - whether that be physical, mental, emotional, etc. is something only the couple knows for sure.

The first thing in this conversation that pisses me off is that she never washes the dishes when HIS MOTHER asks her to. Why is his mother asking her to wash the dishes? And why does he expect her to jump up and get it done like she's a child that can be ordered around? If they live with his mother and she is supposed to share the chores that is one thing but it doesn't sound like this is the situation. Otherwise his mother wouldn't ask her, it would be understood that is her job. So now I have to wonder is the mother trying to dominate over the relationship too? Or maybe mom is trying to raise this girl like she's her own kid. Either way, once she's married she doesn't need a mother raising her anymore. She needs to be allowed to be an adult - even if she fails miserably and has to learn it the hard way. Guidance is okay, force and dominance is not.

Then he says he only tells her these things to make her a better wife? Yeah, he obviously thinks he is better than she is and must teach her the way. This is so WRONG! If he loved her like he said he did then he would be more accepting of who she is and not be trying to change her. Since this guy was young, how much experience does he have with what a good wife should be? I'm guessing....NONE!

He goes on to say he gets to choose her clothes and how she's a bad wife, at one point wanting the other customers to hear how bad she is. He's publicly degrading her to try to gain control over the situation. He mentions slapping her and how that wasn't a big deal because he could have punched her. Then he starts talking about a baby. OMG. This is just sad.

Don't ever let anyone treat you this way or use such tactics to dominate you in a relationship. It is abusive. Things don't ever get better and if you let behavior like this go on once, it becomes twice, then weekly, etc. The more you allow, the worse things will get.


  1. Yeah, this conversation was just sad and I'm sure there are many others out there like this. I understand that both individuals have their roles in a relationship and each one will have tasks they are responsible for - otherwise you might love each other but you won't be happy being in the home - but to say she's a bad wife because she doesn't obey his mother is just too much.

  2. people forget that marriage is for companionship

  3. So True!!!!!!!!!