Saturday, October 22, 2011

A New Season of Life


Stress, frustration and circumstances beyond our control can leave us feeling overwhelmed and feeling many unsavory emotions in life. I have been the victim of such for far too long and the other night it all go the better of me. I can’t say I hit rock bottom but it did prove to be a bit of a turning point that I hope keeps going.
All was quiet in my room and I decided it was a good time to talk to hubby about how negative he’s been lately and apologize for some of my own behavior. It was something we needed to talk about. Even though he is amazing, hubby is a very negative person and that’s hard to stomach on a day to day basis. Somehow it wound up with me getting loud (not yelling but not far from it) and telling him how nuts he drives me with his negativity, even when it’s not directed at me. 

I swear he wakes up saying negative things and he’s so critical of every little detail in life. Before living with him I hadn’t seen so much of this. He literally starts off every day looking at himself in the mirror and talking about how bad he looks and how his clothes are bad, etc. He will complain about food while it’s being cooked only to love it once it’s done. It’s quite maddening. 

Anyway, after I finally stated my peace he said thank you and that threw me for a loop. He meant it. He said he hadn’t realized just how negative he had been acting and how much he was doing to keep his mood negative and that he was going to change. I was just in shock because I had just fussed at him and he thanked me. Either way I wished him well and we discussed some tips of how he can let go of this negativity. One of which is my new ‘bitch about it and move on’ ideals I’m adopting for myself. He vowed the next day he would be different and we both went to bed. 

To my surprise he woke up, got out of bed and started getting ready for work. He got dressed and looked in the mirror and asked me how he looked, as usual. I told him he looked good and he didn’t come back with any negative comments about what was wrong with him. He agreed. He went to work, we texted as usual and when he came home we talked as usual. His whole demeanor had changed and though I liked it, it felt kind of odd. 

We had a good evening and watched a movie. The mood in our room felt so much lighter than it had previously. The second day, same thing happened and I just had to comment on how much better life seemed and he agreed. He told me that he feels better not letting things bother him anymore like he used to. He even had some positive comments to make about his day and his life. I am truly enjoying it. This has been going on for about 4 days now. The whole atmosphere in our lives has changed. 

In turn this is making it easier for me to not feel grumpy as well. It’s quite motivational to know that the negative energy is fizzling out. I always studied and read that if you surround yourself with negative energy then the things around you become negative and it makes your whole life sour. Those things are too true!! When I didn’t have such negative energy around and now that it is gone life feels better all around. It’s easier to see the positive side of things and accept life’s challenges without letting them knock you down.

2 comments:

  1. Absolutely! I used to live this way and I went through a lot of crap but still had a positive outlook on life. Since moving here that positive has taken a severe turn for the negative and I'm surrounded by it constantly and can't get away. It's crippling.

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  2. I am so happy to read this post, remember i told you to live life Chardi kala? well now you're both starting to! This is a Sikh concept,but Rohit will be familiar with the term as he's Punjabi...loosely means a “positive, buoyant and optimistic” attitude to life and the future. Always be – in "high spirits", "ever progressive", "always cheerful", etc are some other terms used to describe this phrase. It reflects an eternally evergreen & blissful mental state of Sikhs

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