Saturday, September 3, 2011

A Square Peg in a Round Hole

I used to keep kids in the nursery and I remember the shape toys that were designed to teach them fine motor skills. For those of you who've never seen one it's a ball with different shaped holes cut into it. Then there are pieces cut to match the shapes and the kid has to put the right shape through the matching hole. Kids seem to love them.

I used to marvel at watching a tiny little person wrestle with these balls and they seemed to have no intention of giving up. That says something about our will power lol. All of you on a diet - YES, you can keep going even when you get pissed lol. Take a lesson from the babies. Anyway, these kids keep on trying and trying and some of them get mad and throw the shapes sometimes. Then they crawl and get it and come back and try again. Kids are just freaking cute and watching them learn is quite an experience.

But I didn't start this post to talk about kids, even though they are adorable. I've been feeling like that block the baby fights with that doesn't fit into the hole he's trying to stuff it into. I've felt that way a lot in India. Now, that doesn't surprise me at all. I'm different in so many ways than everyone here and it was to be expected. Most of the time it doesn't bother me but now that my tolerance level has worn too thin from putting up with all that I've had to since being here it's starting to get to me.

And it's all little silly things but, it's keeping me angry ALL the time. I'm irritable and moody and I really hate being this way. I think I've reached my limit of feeling out of place and incapable of living. Even little tasks are causing me great difficulty some days and I can't figure out what's going on. Just one example: tonight I wanted fresh boiled corn on the cob with some butter and salt on it. Simple and sweet and fresh. I asked MIL to shuck the corn for me because I was also making some fresh mashed potatoes to go with it. I know, it's a kids meal lol but I don't care. I wanted something completely simple and plain and fresh. I'm not feeling well and this was easy and pretty much no fail - or so I thought.

I started cooking, turned on the corn first because I knew it would take a little longer than the potatoes. I then sat down in MIL and FILs room because I'm not about to run up and down the stairs while I'm trying to cook. The weather wasn't too bad today, a little warm but tolerable. I went and rolled the corn around every 10 minutes and I started the potatoes. 30 minutes go by and I check my potatoes and corn. I had turned the corn on low and wasn't not boiling them rapidly so I wasn't surprised to find they still needed a few minutes. However, I was very surprised to find the corn harder than when I first put it in the pan. I let it go, rolled them around some more and added a little more water to make sure that not too much evaporated. The corn was at a rolling boil.

The potatoes got done a short while later so I went ahead and mashed them and mixed in my spices and butter, etc. I put them aside and covered them to keep them warm because as I checked, the corn was still nowhere near being soft enough to eat. I went and sat back down, checking the corn every 10 minutes. A full hour and 10 minutes went by and the corn still wasn't done. Thinking I had messed up and overcooked it I decided I had to be wrong about the corn so I took it off the burner and put it on a plate. Slathered more butter all over it and salted it. I tried a bite and it was chewy and I thought it was overcooked. Until I took the next bite. IT WASN'T DONE!!!! The corn still looked raw and was solid white through most of the pieces.

Being irritable and frustrated and getting too tired of sitting downstairs trying to deal with this mess I threw it out. I'm so pissed. Seriously? How the hell do you mess up corn? And I know somehow this isn't my fault because I've never seen corn take that long to boil and this wasn't even done. Not to mention the cob and the little things that hold the corn on the cob were all a dark brown and almost black like something went horribly wrong while cooking them. This isn't my first time boiling fresh corn. I swear I know how. But as everything else seems to go for me in India, I must not know crap.

I've thrown my hands up. I'm done. Screw it. I'm done trying to eat something besides tomatoes and cucumbers. I swear I've dang near lived off tomatoes and cucumbers for the last 7 months. I've stopped eating cucumbers because I'm so tired of them and I'm thanking God I'm not tired of the tomatoes because otherwise I may starve for sure. I throw them on pasta or couscous and mix in some other things to break up the bland monotony but it's really starting to feel like I'm not eating anything else. (I know I just feels like I don't because I eat so many.)

So I guess you could say I'm having an 'I hate India' day lol. Nothing like a completely different country to make a grown woman feel like an incompetent child. On days like this I question whether or not I really got a Bachelors and maintained a perfect 4.0 GPA while working 2 jobs. And how could I manage that but I can't boil corn? I think I have a million other complaints at the moment. None of them worth mentioning because on a normal day I wouldn't even complain or notice them. It's just today I think the fuse on my firecracker has gone out and it's now spinning in circles on the ground spewing fire and making lots of noise lol. (I think I like that analogy....let me go make it my FaceBook status.)

Ugh. Mommy...can I have some ice cream??? I got a boo boo on my ego. *wipes tear and sniffles*

Update - MIL just came in and said it was the craziest thing she had ever seen too. She thinks the corn was old and that maybe the store (I got it at HyperCity) had done something to it or kept it too long. She may have a point because they were just on the news for selling expired food. You can't check the expiration date on corn. It looked okay though, at least until it started cooking. It got darker while it was cooking, like reddish yellow, not whiter and bright yellow like I'm used to. 

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