Monday, September 12, 2011

Slapped by the Humble Bug

Yep. I got my butt kicked by the humble bug last night. In case you don't know what I mean, I mean when God sends something/someone down to say or do something that shuts you up when you need a wake up call. I've needed a lot of those lately I will admit that (Ya'll will understand that more when my 8 month update comes out on the 15th.) So let me explain, cause ya'll know I love when reality slaps me in the face lol.

Yesterday didn't start out much different than my other days in India. I woke up in pain, this time with a side of indigestion and nausea added to it (I had spicy food coz hubby really wanted me to try something and I was hungry - it wasn't supposed to be spicy so now I'm wondering if all this food drama isn't some kind of allergy to particular spices but I won't get started on that right now.) That put me in a foul mood so I just stayed in bed as long as I could. Then shower time came and I thought that might do me good so I got my lazy butt up.

Still in my foul mood I mouthed off a little about how I had to wear jeans to be side show circus freak when some family members came by later in the day. Yes, that was crappy lol but sometimes I feel like that and I hate jeans. I had to wear them though because I've lost almost 60 lbs (27kgs) since moving here and now nothing fits. I'm not shopping because we're leaving soon and I don't want to have too much left behind or to pack in my suitcase. I'm saving suitcase space for gifts and such. Anyway, back to the snappy comment. Hubby bit back lol. He's learning. It shut me up and that's all that matters. I just went on and grumbled my way down the stairs to the shower and cooled off so to speak (lol..we only have cold water).

After I got out we went out to get some things that were needed around the house for me and his mom. We stopped first at Pizza Hut since I hadn't eaten all day and while we were sitting there we were talking and I tried to explain the negative angry behavior. I know it's really hard for hubby to understand because he's never been through it but he does get some things. So I tried to tell him that I just feel surrounded by so much negativity and that I've never lived that way before. No matter how bad things have gotten in my life previously I've always been a really positive person and India has just been more than I could keep positive about sometimes. I tried to explain that I'm lonely and feeling isolated somewhat too but he didn't get that so we kinda skipped the topic.

Then this is what hubby had to say to me. (I was not happy lol...sometimes the things you need to hear aren't easy to listen to though.) He told me his thoughts were how I had this family who was going out of their way to make me comfortable and happy and I was being a brat always needing something else. He was so lucky we were out in town and I couldn't show him what a brat looks like lol. Sadly I know he's right, I've felt that way myself but I don't act that way to be trouble. The things I'm asking for are not unreasonable at all and sometimes I do have to pitch a fit to get them thanks to good old Indian Standard Timing (which means it could take a week to get maida before you finally buy it yourself). I let the discussion go because it wasn't worth the argument and I know hubby doesn't yet understand culture shock.

We decided to go shoe shopping and we wound up with 6 pair, one for me, one for mil and 4 for gifts for me to send home. You just can't find shoes like this in the US for these prices and I'm a sucker for a sale. Nothing like a little retail therapy to make a girl feel better. Even all the sweating from the heat outside wasn't bothering me. And for the first time since I've been here I got taken in by the salesman so I know it was a good shopping trip. I was determined not to buy any shoes for myself for the reason stated above. However, the salesman must have noticed me staring at this one pair and he showed them to hubby and they ganged up on me about how great they would look. So yeah, I bought them lol.

Later in the day, MIL came in and was telling me how she loved the shoes I picked for her and how they fit so good and hubby, who can't keep a secret if his life depended on it, chimed in about how they would match what I picked for her birthday. Hahaha, I can't believe he kept the secret this long since I picked it 2 weeks ago and hid it in the house. But that's all beside the point. When he told MIL, tears welled up in her eyes and she told him she can't believe God sent someone in the house that thinks about her like I do. (Background - hubby goes out and buys some chocolates after he gets home and realizes it's her bday....he's such a guy lol.)

Now time for more grumbling because that means hubby was right. I am a spoiled brat. Grrr! I already knew it but now I have to watch it be displayed in front of me in the form of a fabulous MIL who I have now made cry by buying her a birthday gift. Thank you Mr. Humble Bug for hitting me hard enough to give me a headache. Fine. I'll be nicer, you win. I almost cried cause MIL cried lol. At least I know I'm still a girl. It was a beautiful moment.

I didn't buy that birthday gift to win brownie points. I got it because my grandma raised me to believe that you always take a moment out to remember people on birthdays and holidays. You always have a card for those not too close to you and a gift for those who are. (You should see how many Christmas cards I have to mail...yikes!) It's just what I do. I've given her birthday gifts for the last three years. Maybe this time it was the shoes and the gift that was more than she was prepared for. I don't know. I'm glad I had the experience though because I think I really needed it.


  1. Hi bhabi ji,sorry to hear that your tummy has been sore and youcan't have anything too spicy,bit of a bummer when in India right? Did you try ajwain seeds? Even here in Scotland I take em,theyre good for nausea and diarrohea. I'm glad your sas appreciates you.....Bhai Gurdas Ji,who was a poet of early Sikhism and authoritative interpreter of Sikh doctrine, pays high tribute to women. He says: "A woman, is the favourite in her parental home, loved dearly by her father and mother. In the home of her in-laws, she is the pillar of the family, the guarantee of its good fortune... Sharing in spiritual wisdom and enlightenment and with noble qualities endowed, a woman, the other half of man, escorts him to the door of liberation."

  2. Maybe you can try using olive oil for cooking ??

  3. Ty! I do use olive and canola oil now.

  4. I just completed reading your whole blog.
    It was quite a ride you had - love, excitement, anxiety, happiness, sickness, frustration and realization. You got a big roller coaster going on here :)

    Anyways, I am sure you must have learned some big lessons of life and this experience will have made you a better person.

    I suggest, you watch a movie "Chalo Dilli" . Its the story of a confident business woman, diva (consider yourself) got stuck in the journey with a simple local pan-chewing delhi-ite (India). A lot of your posts on ur struggle reminded me of this movie. The everything goes attitude of that guy and everything is a big deal attitude of that girl. (On every complaint of the girl he kept on saying "whats the big deal")

    Watch it till the end. Its beautiful and very touching movie.