Friday, May 20, 2011

Judgement Day - May 21, 2011

It's really rare for me to jump on the latest news and blog my thoughts because to be honest I mostly don't care what someone is dramatizing now. The news isn't really respectable in my book these days because all they do is jump on some trend and ignore anything that isn't loaded with drama. If I want drama, I'll watch soap operas. Oh yeah, I ditched those about 10-12 years ago too.

Anyway today it was announced yet again by a man named Harold Camping. Camping is a self-made evangelist (meaning he is not ordained) and seems to have quite a healthy following (can u say..cult?). He's on radio stations and apparently all over the web. Now, seemingly last minute he's posting the world will end tomorrow, May 21, 2011. Well, maybe not fully end, but it's the beginning of the end. After all, as an evangelist he has to know that no man will know the date right?

My thought - Which May 21st does he mean? The May 21st that starts here in India in approximately 7.5 hours or the May 21st that starts in California in approximately 20 hours? If you think about it, assigning a date really gives this man two full days that the world could end. How fickle is that? Or does the western world be the only one that matters since it's his time zone. OMG...could his prophecy really mean Israeli time since that is where Jesus came from? Guess the bible was right - no one can know. I'm seeing holes in his story already.

But just in case tomorrow is judgment day and since I've seen some nice comments here and there I would like to make my list of final wishes should I be sent to hell or randomly disappear.

I haven't loaned anyone anything so I don't think I will be needing anything back. Especially not if I'm gone. So I guess if you have something of mine and I've forgotten about it, you can keep it. Consider it a parting gift. :D

I don't like intense heat, I know that now that I live in India. So I would appreciate all my atheist and other non-christian buddies if they would come and take down my AC and forward it to my new location. I think the address would look something like: White Bhabi, Sector 37, Pandemonium, Hell. (Yes, I do intend to be prayed out of there in the event the Catholics are right...ty!)

Anyone who has compassion can send me a fire extinguisher as well. I'm pretty sure I'm going to need the chemical kind because wood fires don't burn like I've heard hell fires do.

According the the Holy Bible all the Christians will be taken like a thief in the night so I don't expect any riots. The doors won't be locked and I have some fabulous clothes which I don't intend to use in hell that anyone who happens to like can pilfer in my absence. The keys to the cupboard will be in my purse for you, just don't go in the bag full of adult items I'm hiding from the in-laws...they may not understand lol.

And in the event I go to heaven:
I'm going to advocate on behalf of all of you who didn't make and must continue to endure this Indian heat. I'm sure God will understand it is time for a global cooling cycle. After all, all the miserable ppl are in hell and ya'll don't strike me as the type to be sent there. Ya'll need a break. ;)

Bude bude bude (porky pig)....that's all folks!

2 comments:

  1. great post! i really enjoy reading your blog, even though i never comment.

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  2. No worries Sonia! Comments aren't required (though appreciated lol). Stalk all you want! I do it too.

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