Sunday, September 26, 2010

Where's the fire....

...hail fire and brimstone that is. I knew the state of American churches was declining but I didn't realize how bad. This morning I went to a Free Will Baptist church service. I had mixed feelings before I went because I had been to the church before and this church is a struggling church. That has been going on for the last 10 years. This morning there were 13 people in service including the preacher. As usual the service was going in one ear and out the other.

However sitting there brought to light some things I hadn't really realized or paid attention to all my life. I've always been bored in church and could never discipline myself enough to listen intently to the preacher. I've never found anything in their sermons that I could relate to my life and I've always just sat there and waited for it to be over and now I'm not even sure why. I never had a lot of friend or family in the churches I've been to. Today I realized church has only been a social outing for me and for the last 6 or 7 years there hasn't been much socializing to it. I haven't made friends or had relationships develop there. I find that really sad because I volunteered in the churches and worked in them all but the last 2 years. Maybe before 7 years ago I was too young and blind to realize that all the things I thought were there were never there at all. Hmmm....interesting thought.

This morning was even worse though. There was literally no life left in this church. Everyone was barely audible while singing, there was no zeal coming from the organ player. The pastor didn't have a lot of enthusiasm. My foster sister layed on the pew behind us and just waited for this to be over as well. You can't nurture a spirit without something to attract them. I had trouble staying awake this morning.

And on a picky, uppity note...there can be too much blue in a room. I think blue is one of those overpowering colors that takes over a room more easily than most other colors. This is the kind of thing I thought about this morning during service to keep myself awake lol. There were blue pews, blue carpet, blue curtains. Definitely too much blue. It made me that much more sleepy.

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