Thursday, August 19, 2010

Week 2 of Hindu Studies

After our serious conversation things are much improved between us. Today hubby was actually daydreaming about what things will be like when I get there. He's a chicken but I love him.

Anyway, today I began reading Saiva Dharma Shastras again. I made it through Chapter 14. I worked overtime and I like to keep busy between calls so I got a lot done. It began to get me excited about how my new life will be. I don't expect it to be easy, especially since I've never been an early riser and in all my years I've not managed to get regulated to getting up early. Even when I do get up early I can't get to sleep early enough to get enough rest to be ready to start my day. I wish I could change it but I have yet to be successful. Maybe the changing time zones of the move will actually help. I was up really really early every day when I visited. That was amazing to me. Mera Pyar always says I was born in the wrong country, maybe he was right.

Today I was reading about the husbands/wives duties duties as a parent. I really feel like it helped me understand some things a little better. Even after almost 3 years with Mera Pyar sometimes I just don't get why he acts the way he does and feels the way he does about some things, but today it started making more sense. He's tried to explain some things to me but I guess I just needed to learn in a different way. I'm starting to understand what he means by me holding all the families honor and my actions being scrutinized. I full well know they will be scrutinized even harder because I'm American and they seem to have some negative views of our culture...with good reason sadly. I'm sure it will all work out.

I'm hoping all of this reading will help me stop romanticizing about how life will be there. My head is telling me life will be hard in ways I'm not used to and this will be a huge adjustment. However, I can't stop daydreaming about how fabulous it will be.

I have already started preparing for the trip. I spent this summer without air conditioning. I've been taking cold showers which is really hard to get used to. I threw out any clothes that were even somewhat revealing. I stopped watching movies with porn or violence in them. Not real porn, but any of you that have watched movies lately know what I mean. I'm so sick of being bombarded with naked asses in my movies this was an easy change to make. I love Bollywood movies already so no real challenge there. This is going to be a long process. Somehow I'm still excited....

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