Thursday, July 23, 2009


Perhaps the hardest part of being in an international relationship is figuring out what is and will be important between the two of you. I have always been fascinated by culture. I love learning new things about other people. However, strangely before I met Mera Pyar I had never really paid much attention to Hinduism. I used to think, like many others, that it is a religion. I have since learned it is not. It is a way of life. There is a simplistic beauty in the complexity of Hinduism. I've been learning a lot by talking to Mera Pyar and studying on my own. Lol, like I've read about most Hindu's, Mera Pyar doesn't know all there is to know. He just knows how he lives and the rest are just details.

I became fascinated with Karva Chauth last year. I really loved the symbolism behind it and the meaning for the celebration. I wanted to participate but at the same time I was also thinking about why should I do that for a man who I really wasn't sure wanted to be with me forever. Mera Pyar was still in his overly cautious phase and was not committed on a level I thought would rate karva chauth. So I read about it and then let it go. This year things have drastically changed between us and I now have a ring on my finger so I have decided to participate. It's early but I've already gotten a list of prayers written up so I don't forget anything about him that I should be praying about. I'm not talking about the general themes like praying for his long life, I'm talking specific things that only apply to him. I felt it was important to write my own prayers, from my heart. Otherwise I don't think I would be keeping with the spirit of the holiday. How can you be general and random when it comes to someone who is so specific in your life? My thoughts- you can't. Now I just have to work on preparations so my body will be ready for a fast like that. And let me tell you, it's not easy for an avid soda loving American lol.

So while I'm working on all of that and it hits me.....the baya! Yikes. I can't just go out and buy a saree or any of that stuff, and trying to get it shipped would be even more craziness. I could go through an online service, but I'm not so sure I trust those. Now I feel like time is short and I'm not going to make it. This is one of those pull your hair out moments. So I asked Mera Pyar.....he had no idea what a baya was lol. I had to tell him and his mom laughed when he said something to her about it. I think I shocked him a little that I knew about something he didn't. Anyway, here I am now, still no baya ideas. I googled. UGH. Seriously, the selections suck. I couldn't find a single one with a saree in it. There really were only a scant few to choose from and none of them looked like what I would consider good. I don't do anything on a small scale, I stress to impress the first time.

My baya is gonna suck. I just know it. I decided to try to make something by hand to send her just to dress up the basket a little but that's not going so well lol. When it comes to making things, I'm a bit of a perfectionist. So when I started my cross stitch peacock design, it came out too small and I spent a whole day ripping it out of the fabric so I can start over. Now I don't want to start over on it. I really want to send her an embroidered scarf but I've never done embroidery and I doubt I could even come close to the phulkari designs she's seen before. So I'm not facing that challenge. I stress to impress, not kill myself lol. Now the hunt is on for something unique and beautiful and sentimental to make my future saasuma. Now I must ask....with as many Indians as we have in America, why the hell is it so hard to find quality Indian goods?????

At least I know how to make nice handmade cards so I can send her a nice card.

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