Sunday, June 28, 2009

International Relationships Part 2 - Logistics

Having a relationship online isn’t as much different from an offline one as you might think. The basic principals are the same. Offline, you would make gestures like writing on the bathroom mirror of your sweetheart, online you would leave a status message on your MySpace. Of course, leaving the status message on MySpace could actually be a more bold gesture since every friend on your list can see it, so it’s like you are showing off your sweetheart and how they make you feel. Ways of keeping in touch with your online love: SMS msgs, emails, MySpace comments, MySpace status messages, postal mail, sending flowers and cards, sending gifts. All things you can do with your offline love.

Where the challenge comes in, you can’t go on physical dates with your international partner. How can this be compensated for you ask? Well, I’ve learned there are many things you can do that may seem unusual, but trust me when your heart knows what is going on, the feelings they produce are much better than when you go on a date with your offline significant other. Keep in mind, that until you know your online love well, some of these ideas are not recommended. You should be sure of who you are talking to before you share any sensitive information. Here are some ideas I have found:

1. Set a time and day to both be watching the same movie. Each of you should fix popcorn and get comfortable like you would if you were watching the movie together. Then make sure you aren’t late, lol. It is a date, treat it as such. After you both have seen it, talk to each other about it.

2. Cook the same meal for dinner, or order out for the same meal. When you sit down at your designated dinner time, you will have the satisfaction of knowing that the other person had the same meal, you can daydream based on what you know about the conversations you would have had. Then the next time you talk to your international love, talk about these things and see if you both had the same ideas. It really is a fascinating feeling when you realize you were imagining some of the same things. This is similar to a virtual date.

3. Get sappy and be a dork. There’s nothing wrong with showing your cheesy side when it comes to love. Be creative; think up some silly stuff you both can laugh at. I like to tell Mera Pyar that I was done with the sun for the day so I sent it his way so he could have a beautiful day. We all know I didn’t send the sun, but since it’s coming up for him as it’s gone down for me, it makes for a cute but cheesy little joke between us.

4. Send care packages, not like the kind of care packages you send off to college students with necessities in it. Instead send a package that shows your level of care for the other person. Include things like a scented card so they can smell your perfume or cologne. Send pictures with notes written on them, the note should be kind of personal.

5. Utilize the online skills you must have had that led you to your online love in the first place. Take some videos or pics of you when you are chatting or doing other things and send them to each other. Since your international love doesn’t see you doing daily activities, include some of those too, that way they can have a sense of what you do and how you do it. These things aren’t boring to them because they don’t see them all the time, and can go a long way in helping the two of you get to know each other a little better. You could also send a video message that they can watch over and over again. Sentimental and sappy are good for this also.

6. Send pictures and video of your world. By that I mean some google earth shots of your house, maybe photos of your favorite restaurant or shopping center. This will give your online love the chance to know what you are talking about and form his/her own images of the two of you together in these places.

Other parts to this series:
The Excitement and Challenges of International Relationships
International Relationships Part 3 - Communications
International Relationships Part 4 - Long Term Relations
International Relationships part 5 - fighting over email 

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