One of the things I've struggled with as I grow more cultured is the pressure to be more tolerant because of it. I just can't agree to that. I'm human. I'm entitled to have my own thoughts and just because I'm white doesn't mean I have to tolerate everything every other culture and group does. The push is always towards white people.
People in other non-white nations aren't demanded to tolerate things they don't agree with, nor are they forced or cornered into accepting things that going against their own beliefs. Maybe I feel this way more because I'm American and we're in a cultural war of sorts. So many different cultures are struggling to blend and dominate here, there's bound to be adversity.
I am only just starting to really understand this as I watch my husband learn to live and grow as a person here. Every single time he see someone brown-skinned or something on TV he thinks is Indian or even hears a name that isn't distinctively English, he shouts it out loud. It drives me crazy! Especially since half the time the person isn't Indian at all. Even though it gets on my nerves, I do recognize he is trying to find where he fits in and normalize some things for himself here the way I did in India.
Over the last 9 years that I've been learning about India I've seen some things I like, some I don't like and some I'm indifferent to. I've taken a lot of crap for the things I don't like and don't agree with, most of it evidenced on this blog. There is a strong undertone that if you're cultured or you've began to enlighten yourself and grow outside of your own small world, that you should be tolerant and not out-spoken about things in other cultures.
That's bullshit! Learning about and engaging in other cultures or groups does not make me a spineless, unopinionated patsy. I'm still a living, breathing, free-thinking human and I still have the right to choose my own beliefs and thoughts and doing so doesn't make me a bad person. Being American gives me the right to voice those opinions. Being humane enables me to understand that doing so is okay as long as it's not a personal attack on an individual or a mean-spirited attack on a group. Unfortunately not everyone understands that.
Going forward with this blog, I'm sure I'll end up being controversial again. I'm okay with that too. Because like I have those rights, so do my readers. I have some things I want to write about but I've been hesitant to because it gets tiring dealing with the trolls. I haven't been in a place emotionally that I could deal with trolls for a while but that seems to be subsiding.
I'm hoping that as I crawl out of this depression, I can again use my blog as my voice. This is my place to write and share things I can't have a conversation in my daily life about because I'm unequally grouped with those who haven't lived the life I've lived and they have difficulty understanding. I'm ready to write again. Let's just hope I can keep that momentum going.