I have been struggling with some personal issues these last couple of months and my husband shared this with me today:
When you are born, it was not your choice
Who your parents are is not your choice
When you die, that is not your choice
But, the way you're going to live your life is your choice.
We all make millions of choices throughout our lives. Most of them are small like what we are going to wear or what movie to watch today. Many of them are major like where we will go to college or what career we will work in. A few are life altering. By life altering I mean:
- Who to marry
- When to have kids
- Where to live (within your own culture or in a new one)
- Who to exclude from your life
I've had to make some very serious decisions in my young life. I feel I've had to make more life altering decisions than most people do before they reach my age. At each of these turns I've made a choice but was always unsure if it was the right choice. With life-altering choices, you can never be sure if you were right until you look back and evaluate your life since that decision was made.
I consider marrying an Indian man and moving to India both life altering events. They have affected me and changed me in ways I never could have imagined. It has made me a different person. It was my choice and I am responsible for whether the outcome is good or bad. Thankfully, this decision was a very good one. Along with this decision I made several major choices as well - like living with his family and converting to Hinduism.
Another, less visible life altering choice I made was to not be the victim of abuse any longer. You can't see this choice and there is no blatant outward show that comes from this decision but it was life altering. I chose not to be the victim. That's a lot bigger than most people realize.
By choosing not to be a victim, you choose to keep living despite what has happened to you. You choose to find a way to be positive in your day regardless of the negative energy that was thrown into your life. You choose to smile even when you hurt inside. You choose to be happy for those who have not lived through what you have lived through.
Choosing not to be a victim means having to make many small, yet life altering decisions every single day. Sometimes you're able to make them and sometimes you're not. Some days you don't feel like you have the strength to choose. It's not whether you win the battle within or not. What matters is that you don't let a set back or an inability to choose positivity hold you down for long.
All it takes to be a survivor is to just keep going.